Some Were Nearly Taken to the Cleaners

Where were you on the night of Aug. 1? We know where Mr. and Mrs. Eric Schwartz were. They were eating out. In 91 restaurants.

This is one fun couple. To celebrate their fifth anniversary, Mr. Schwartz bought his wife a new dress and then took her out. To eat. And eat. And eat. And eat.

Unfortunately, the evening was not without its problems. Although they dined in the very best establishments in Los Angeles, they were plagued with clumsy waiters: 91 of them, to be exact. During dinner at each restaurant a waiter managed to spill a cup of coffee on Mrs. Schwartz’s brand-new dress.

Mr. Schwartz sent a letter and the $23 cleaning bill to each of the restaurants they had dined in. The letter, written on plain white paper, requested that the money for the cleaning bill be refunded to him; the address was a suite on San Vicente Boulevard.

When Ken Frank of La Toque received one of the letters, he was suspicious. “Schwartz’s letter was addressed to a manager who no longer works here, plus he mentioned eating a dish I haven’t had on my menu for at least four or five months,” says Frank, who notified postal authorities. “He must have used information from Epicurean Rendezvous (a guide book of Southern California restaurants).”

Chaya Brasserie’s Maria Jimenez was equally wary. “We immediately knew the letter was a phony,” she says. “The manager the letter was addressed to had already left us.” Besides, she says, whenever there is spillage, the waiters are instructed to immediately inform the manager.

When Beaurivage owner Daniel Forge received his letter, he checked the reservation book for the night of Aug. 1. Schwartz’s name was not there. Like Frank, Forge forwarded the letter to the postal inspector. “This is nothing new to me,” Forge says. “This happens all the time.”

“He really screwed up,” laughs Mary Dunfee, office manager at Melange Inc. “Instead of attaching a copy of the dry-cleaning receipt, Schwartz inadvertently attached the identical letter addressed to another restaurant.” Dunfee was no novice to this business: A month earlier she had received a similar letter. “We have four busy restaurants under one corporation,” she says, “but they all have different names. A woman sent the identical letter to two of our restaurants. I tracked her down.” Dunfee says she reported both incidents to the postal inspector. She also wrote to Schwartz, informing him that she had forwarded his letter to the proper authorities.

A week after Dunfee wrote her letter, Schwartz sent another letter--with no return address--to everyone who had responded to his original mailing. Thanking them, he claimed to be compiling data for a book he is writing on scams.

Federal Postal Inspector Michael Ahern says “book research” is a common excuse. “It’s something to lull people into not complaining,” he says. “Our fraud section is swamped with these types of cases.” Ahern says that the normal procedure is to conduct an investigation to determine intent to defraud. “If there was,” says Ahern, “what we have is mail fraud, a felony. The penalty is five years and/or $2,000 on each count.”

NO TRUMPS: The closing of Trumps last week came fast after the owners of the Columbia Bar & Grill withdrew their offer to buy the restaurant that helped pioneer the ‘80s-era California cuisine movement. Last month, chef Michael Roberts said he hoped to save the restaurant, but he and his partners could not afford to keep the West Hollywood restaurant open. “Nobody worked real hard on selling the place,” Roberts says, “because the Columbia Bar & Grill deal seemed so sure.” Now he says others are scrambling to get proposals together, including himself. “As general partners we have to do everything we can to get the best price for the restaurant,” says Roberts, explaining why he can’t just take over the space. “I can’t say, ‘I’ll give you a dime for this restaurant’ when someone else is willing to pay a quarter.”

Roberts won’t say what his plans are if his offer is accepted. He just wants to do something as quickly as possible so that he can retain his key employees. “I feel like that summer between high school and college.” Roberts says. “High school was fabulous, but I am going to miss all my friends. I also can’t wait to get out of here and go to college. I want to buy new sweaters and all sorts of things.”

NIPS AND TUCKS: Like many of its best customers, the 19-year-old Beverly Hills restaurant the Bistro has undergone a face lift. The red carpeting has been replaced by hardwood floors, the interior has been given a lighter, younger look. As for that sale sign out front, “it has no bearing on the the Bistro,” says the restaurant’s spokeswoman. The building itself is for sale.

BARGAIN: A three-course dinner for $7.95-$9.50 at Brio in Tarzana. The Off the Wall dinner is available only from 4:30-6:30, and only until Oct. 15. So eat fast.