By hook and by crook: A woman...

By hook and by crook: A woman phoned The Times and told an editor she was the “police officer who became a prostitute, wrote a book about it, and then ran for lieutenant governor.”

“Which one?” the editor asked wearily.

Even in L.A., though, only one woman meets those qualifications: Norma Jean Almodovar.

She said her book, “Cop to Call Girl,” will be published in May, a fact that Simon and Schuster confirmed. The title is a bit of poetic licentiousness since she was only a civilian meter maid; she was, however, a real prostitute.

Almodovar, 42, who served three years in prison for pandering, claims she had to rewrite her book because police confiscated the first manuscript during one arrest. Now, she even has a literary attorney, Luise Healey, who said the tome will concentrate on “corruption” in the LAPD. (In the LAPD? No!)

Once the book comes out, Almodovar will no doubt become a sought-after talk show guest, which is the world’s third oldest profession.

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One ex-chief to go, please: Remember the controversy over Daryl Gates’ reluctance to step down as L.A.’s police chief? Now, the Chinese food billboard spoofing the situation on Santa Monica Boulevard is overstaying its welcome. After Gates’ attorneys objected to the unauthorized use of the ex-chief’s likeness, the Mendelsohn & Zien ad agency promised to take it down within five days. That was July 30. It’s still up.

What’s America coming to? If you can’t believe an ad agency, whom can you believe?

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Sounds like something out of Norma Jean’s book: A reader who sent along the accompanying receipt says that when her husband saw it he suddenly became “interested in shopping.”

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What? A delivery man with a conscience? Reader H. Bennett of Palos Verdes was charmed by this note, which he received from the young man who delivers the Peninsula News to his home:

“I am so sorry at any inconvenience I may have caused you when your paper was very late last Monday night. I was still on vacation to Kansas to visit my grandfather. I guess there was a mix-up in the day I was coming home. I hope it was not too bad for you. I will not be on vacation again for a long time. Thank you. Sincerely, Beau Bryant.”

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Soooo-eeee! “Lost pig,” mourned a sign on 2nd Street in Belmont Shore, complete with description. The mystery may never be solved, though, if you believe the message that one insensitive soul added to the sign. It said: “We ate him.”

miscelLAny:

As if the traffic congestion isn’t enough, Clarence Larson found a spot in West L.A. where the names of two streets change at the same intersection. It’s the corner of Indianapolis, Federal, McLaughlin and Barrington.