They’re Half Bad, but the Coach Has a New Game Plan

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers didn’t play last Sunday, so unpredictable Coach Sam Wyche had his team practice halftime.

That’s right, halftime. Wyche said his team had been outscored “40-17 or something” in third quarters of previous games.

“We had the locker room set up just like a game,” Wyche told the Boston Globe. “We would practice out on the field for 30 minutes and then come straight into the locker room, just like a game.”

After “halftime,” players went back onto the field to finish practice. Just like a game.

Trivia time: When did the NFL last have a scoreless tie and which teams were involved? About time: Stanford’s football players are wearing T-shirts with the inscription: “20 Years is Long Enough,” referring to the last time the Cardinal played in the Rose Bowl game.

Consistent: Minnesota Twin catcher Junior Ortiz has achieved a rare distinction, according to Dan Barreiro of the Star-Tribune in Minneapolis.

Barreiro calls Ortiz “the first catcher to make no sense in two languages.”

Try again: Philadelphia Eagle Coach Rich Kotite’s pregame analysis of his team’s encounter last Sunday with Kansas City:

“They love to run the ball and we love to stuff the run. So it should be interesting to watch.”

Wrong game plan, Coach. The Chiefs beat the Eagles, 24-17, with long, play-action passes.

Gruff Bear: Chicago Bear Coach Mike Ditka, a self-described “ultra-conservative” who has backed candidates in political ads and at fund-raisers, has voted in only three of the last 17 elections in his county, according to the Associated Press.

“I can endorse anyone I want,” Ditka said in defense of his voting record. “Now, do you want to know about my religion? I’m for Jesus Christ.”

Dream sequence: After a bid to keep the Giants in San Francisco was abandoned by the owner of the NBA Charlotte Hornets, columnist Mark Purdy of the San Jose Mercury News wrote this about him:

“George Shinn, the twangy North Carolina businessman who had agreed to front the ‘ownership group,’ did indeed turn out to be a Gomer Pyle in George Steinbrenner clothing. Over the weekend, Shinn decided that his supposed ‘lifelong dream’ of owning the Giants was actually more of a monthlong dream.”

Eating his words: As an assistant coach for Buffalo in 1983, Jerry Glanville watched quarterback Dan Marino of Miami start his first NFL game.

“We picked off his first pass and we picked off another one a few plays later,” Glanville recalled. “At that point I made one of the great statements of all time: ‘This guy can’t play.’ ”

Last Sunday, as counterpoint, Marino led Miami to a 21-17 victory over Glanville’s Atlanta Falcons.

Trivia answer: In 1943, Detroit and the New York Giants.

Quotebook: Tight end Marv Cook of the winless New England Patriots: “We’ve got to find a way to win. I’m willing to start cheating.”