This George May be the Last to Know About His Candidacy

If George Brett chooses retirement now that he has his 3,000th hit, a local advertising executive is ready to map out a new career for the Kansas City Royals’ star--in politics.

Bumper stickers urging “Brett for President,” last seen in the summer of 1980 when the Kansas City player flirted with hitting .400, are flourishing again.

The stickers are perfect for voters who can’t stomach the thought of Ross Perot, Bill Clinton or George Bush in the White House, said Ron Mears.

What does Brett think?

“I don’t think he even knows about it,” said his assistant, Joanie Frey.

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Trivia time: Name the schools that first played in the current Rose Bowl stadium?

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Ugly season: Coach Dick MacPherson of the winless New England Patriots said mistakes have contributed heavily to his team’s 0-5 record.

“If you win, you call it an ugly win. If you make those mistakes and lose, it’s an ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly loss.”

That’s five uglies.

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New deal: Reggie Lewis is the new captain of the Boston Celtics, replacing retired Larry Bird. It was the decision of veterans Kevin McHale and Robert Parish to bestow the captaincy on Lewis after conferring with Coach Chris Ford.

Asked about his new role and the power he wields, the 24-year-old Lewis told the Hartford Courant: “We’ll have short practices and days off.”

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Is that all?: From Phil Rogers of the Dallas Morning News: “Marge Schott has outdone herself this time. Failing to renew Bob Quinn’s contract as the Cincinnati Reds’ general manager was a new low, even for the penurious, petty, pooch-petting Schott.”

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Vicious: From Dave Ailes of the Tribune-Review of Greensburg, Pa.:”Why did Bonds take his dad with him to pick up a new car? Because Barry can’t drive home anything in October.”

Tribute: John McEnroe on Billie Jean King’s contribution to women in tennis: “I think the women should give Billie Jean 5% of every paycheck they get, because without her they wouldn’t be getting the prize money they are.

“She could live off the residuals.”

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He could swim: Ellis Johnson, a Florida defensive tackle, shaken by an emergency landing on the team plane earlier this season, said he won’t fly anymore.

For a game at Mississippi State, he rode 11 hours in the team’s equipment truck.

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Said a school official: “Ellis better hope we don’t get an invitation to the Aloha Bowl.”

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Lefty’s journey: Joe DiMaggio was reminiscing recently about his New York Yankee career with John Steadman of the Baltimore Sun.

“I was there the afternoon (Jimmy) Foxx hit a pitch off (Lefty) Gomez that carried to the third deck of Yankee Stadium,” DiMaggio said. “A couple feet to the right and it would have been the only ball hit completely out of there. Gomez was my roommate and I missed seeing him after the game.

“When I saw Lefty, I asked him where he had been. He told me, ‘I wanted to actually see where the ball landed so I walked up there. It took me only four seconds to throw the pitch, but 15 minutes to reach the spot.’ ”

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Name game: Some PGA Tour pairings, as suggested by Golf Digest: Strange-Couples, Bean-Pohl, Fehr-Price, and Black-Mudd.

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Trivia answer: USC and California in a regular-season game in 1922. Cal won, 12-0.

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Quotebook: Golfing legend Byron Nelson on Eldrick (Tiger) Woods: “He’s the best 16-year-old I ever saw . . . unless there’s somebody hiding in the woods.”