Small Book Is Big on Nasty Ways to Get Your Boss’s Goat

Put glue in the boss’s lip balm tube? File bankruptcy in the boss’s name? Bend the shafts on the boss’s golf clubs just enough to foul his or her game?

These are the most timid of almost 300 devious acts of revenge listed in “How to Get Even With Your Boss,” a small book that’s big on nasty notions.

Co-authors Roger and Barbara Sorochty note upfront in a disclaimer that their book is “intended to be humorous and strictly for entertainment.”

They don’t want their readers to actually do any of the spiteful things they dreamed up with cruel and unusual bosses in mind.

Although the thought of slipping a yellow dye tablet in your boss’s swimsuit pocket at the company pool party or of liberating a jar of termites on his or her prized sailboat might be good for a laugh, do either and your troublesome boss may soon be your ex-boss.

Carry out some of the more extreme schemes and you get to answer a lot of questions from the police and a personal injury lawyer.

“We suggest you fantasize rather than actually do some of these things,” says Roger Sorochty, normally a mild-mannered professor of human development and dean of students at Eckerd College in St. Petersburg, Fla.

Having some devilish fun at the boss’s expense--within the limits of our imaginations--is the stuff of which unhappy and frustrated employees have always daydreamed, Sorochty says.

And as long as they aren’t acted on, not only do these fantasies do no harm, they may do some good.

“We started looking at all the changes in American business, with the downsizing and mergers of the ‘80s, and what seemed to get lost in all of that is the personal side of it,” says Sorochty, who believes that these fantasies can help make a stressful day at work with an unbearable boss bearable.

Indications are that some employees are overdue for a good laugh.

A recent study of 28,000 workers in 250 companies, conducted by the St. Paul Fire and Marine Insurance Co., a medical liability insurer, found that one in three harbored either neutral or negative feelings about their bosses, which they said led to diminished productivity at work and even to personal problems at home.

“The point is, if you are in a difficult work situation, take stock of yourself, take stock of your goals and where you want to be,” says Sorochty.

“Consider how the environment is affecting your life and, if things aren’t working out, try to make the best of it.”

To that end, the Sorochtys tagged on a serious conclusion to the book.

If annoyed workers are advised only to contemplate its first hundred or so pages, they are encouraged to practice the last three pages.

Among Sorochty’s recommendations, especially if problems at work seem destined to end badly:

* Keep a journal, making notes to yourself on what seems unfair, and try to document any pattern of repeated behavior by your boss. “It’s for your own thinking,” he says. “And also if it came to a point where the only resolution is to seek legal advice, any background information is helpful.”

* Don’t lose control. “You don’t want to give anyone, especially a supervisor, reason to say you aren’t conducting yourself appropriately,” he says.

* Take a stand, especially when others are around. If your boss doesn’t want to listen, it will be clear to others who’s creating the problem.

* Be careful of the co-workers in whom you confide the problem. “Job security sometimes takes precedence over personal friendships,” he cautions. “Some people may not be able to be as supportive as you feel they should be.”

* Seek legal advice if things are going downhill fast. “Some of the things bosses do may not be only annoying but may be illegal,” he says. “It’s important to know if such a distinction might be happening in your case.”

* Don’t isolate yourself. It’s psychologically important to keep your family and trusted friends tuned in to what’s happening to provide another perspective.

* No matter how difficult it gets, remember that a job is just a job. Think of it as a means to something better.

You can dream about how you’d like to get back at your boss, says Sorochty, but “do something positive to get your life back to normal.”