Parenting Is Still an Open Book

“The Parent Trap” accurately stated the problem with child-rearing advice and techniques: “Advice is plentiful--and confusing.”

However, it need not be. It is important for parents to explore their attitudes toward themselves rather than focusing on techniques for parenting. No technique or method advocated by traditional child-rearing manuals or programs can have a long-lasting or profound effect on the ways parents treat their children, because any attempt to play out roles that are “proper” or “constructive” inadvertently causes more damage.

Children are confused by parents whose actions contradict their words or whose words and actions contradict their underlying attitudes and feelings. Only through developing compassion toward themselves and gaining insight into experiences that caused them pain in their childhoods can parents provide the necessary ingredients for their child’s emotional development.

JOYCE CATLETT

Los Angeles