<i> Snapshots of life in the Golden State.</i> : Clinton Can’t Pass Muster With Volleyball Crowd

Some of the more sun-bleached denizens of Southern California beaches may not be altogether sure who the President of the United States is. But they do know one thing: the proper technique for passing a beach volleyball.

And Bill Clinton, during his Thanksgiving vacation in Summerland, just didn’t have it. Judging by the photo that splashed across the national wires, the President-elect holds his hands in what might be called the old-fangled Democratic handout grip rather than the proper closed-grip approach.

Keeping in mind that the pale-legged Arkansas governor plans numerous return trips to the Southland, California Dateline offers tips from two leading experts: Coach Mike Cook of the perennial powerhouse Mira Costa High School boy’s volleyball team, and a fellow president, Jon Stevenson of the Assn. of Volleyball Professionals.

Cook: “He should be interweaving his fingers together. (Otherwise) he is not able to form the best passing platform possible. . . . He reminds me of someone playing for the first time who doesn’t know where the heck the ball is going.”

Stevenson: “He needs to bend his knees and extend his arms. And if he promises to do that, we’ll extend him an honorary membership in the AVP.”

Associated Press

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Fizz-Cal issues: With the expiration of the state snack tax last week, those Solomonic debates over such issues as how Twinkies could be taxed while doughnuts were exempt are over, right?

Well, not exactly.

Still bubbling is a controversy over the taxing of effervescent water.

At present, state officials maintain that drinks such as Perrier are carbonated beverages, which are still taxed. But water company owners counter that their product is closer to non-carbonated water--which is no longer taxed--than it is to Diet Coke. Besides, they add, their liquids percolate naturally in a bubbly state from far below the earth’s surface.

On tap for early 1992 is a hearing before the State Board of Equalization.

“The burden of making the case is on the Perrier purveyors,” said board Chairman Brad Sherman. “For now, I’m thrilled not to have to make those wafer-thin decisions over a cupcake and a muffin anymore.”

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Tomorrowland-by-the-Bay: San Francisco as a Disneyesque theme park for tourists?

That’s one vision proffered in the latest issue of The City magazine, which asked architects and authors to picture their hometown in the year 2040.

At Fisherman’s Wharf, wrote architect Jack Sidener, visitors will see Vietnamese, who are beginning to flourish in a fishing industry once dominated by European immigrants, dressed in “Italian fisher-folk costume.” To limit noise, the city’s cable cars will run on hidden maglev tracks. And to add a sense of adventure, special “thrill cars” will divert into an old car barn where passengers will enter a holographic cinema that simulates a runaway down the Hyde Street Hill.

These days, Sidener argues, some tourists are “a bit bored” by the city “because of the smugness that makes us more of a dotty dowager like Melbourne than a cosmopolitan capital, and because we haven’t quite committed to Disneyfication.”

“We don’t offer the chance to live the car chase, while at Universal Studios they do.”

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Mickey Mouse jobs: Speaking of Disneyland, with California’s unemployment rate soaring to 10.1% last month, it’s surprising that no politician has yet issued a call for change at the Magic Kingdom.

At last count, Disneyland featured more than 1,200 lifelike animatrons. Why not demand their replacement by out-of-work humans?

Orange County’s increasingly diverse population base could help fill the ranks of It’s a Small World. Surfers could serve on the Pirates of the Caribbean. And to deal with developers’ woes over the impact of the Endangered Species Act, California gnatcatchers could work the Tiki Room.

The only animatron it might be tough to replace--considering the current crop of American political figures--is Abraham Lincoln.

EXIT LINE

“When economic recession grips Rancho Santa Fe, the real estate listings in the local newspaper say, ‘Priced for Quick Sale--$1,650,000’ and ‘Escape from Mediocrity--$1,895,000.’ ”

--Author Mark Singer in the New Yorker, writing on just how swank swank can be in San Diego County.