Health-Hazard Advisories Can Make You Worried Sick

It was bad enough getting the unsolicited mailer a few months ago from a cemetery, telling me it’s never too early to start thinking about my eternal resting place. Luckily, I already have an eternal resting place--on my sofa 10 feet from the television.

Then, earlier this week, another unsolicited letter arrived--from the Mayo Clinic. It was a sales pitch for the clinic’s monthly newsletter, which provides information on all kinds of maladies. According to the mailer, the newsletter addresses many common health problems as well as little-known or seldom-discussed afflictions, such as “spider bites, urinary incontinence, stuttering, human bites, Lyme disease, sleeping problems, excessive earwax, depression, hot tub dermatitis, cat mite dermatitis, psoriasis, constipation and much more.”

Sounds like a great newsletter, but coming on the heels of the cemetery query, my question is: Does someone know something about my health that I don’t?

The answer probably is, yes, they do.

To say the country is health-conscious is not exactly a scoop. We’re probably health-obsessed, which, come to think of it, is probably bad for our health. The country is awash in health information, coming at us from so many directions that it’s all you can do to keep it straight.

Free-lance writer Judy Artunian of Newport Beach has another question to pose about the nation’s seemingly ongoing round-the-clock health alert.

She said that after reading a report that the current from electric shavers might cause leukemia, she realized “that just about everything I see, touch and put into my mouth is a potential deathtrap. It’s unsettling and sometimes downright scary.” She wonders if the public may not be getting antsy, worrying about health hazards lurking around every corner.

She must have met my mother. There’s no article about health hazards too obscure for her to find and, of course, mail to me. Usually, the alleged danger involves something I’ve been doing or eating for years and which, if I continue doing it, will doom me.

It also never fails that she’ll draw a happy face at the end of the article.

Anyhow, Artunian bolstered her case by sending various published articles with a dizzying array of health news.

My favorites were the two headlines from two national publications on the same day. One said: “Filtered coffee raises cholesterol, new study shows.”

The other said: “Coffee doesn’t increase risk of heart disease.”

No wonder people get so edgy from drinking coffee. They don’t know whether they’re killing themselves or not.

You probably remember a story of fairly recent vintage. It debunked the long-held belief that iron was a body-builder of impeccable reputation. Not so fast, according to a Finnish report, which said that even normal levels of iron stored in the body may increase the risk of heart attack.

Not so fast, you Finns, says the Berkeley “Wellness Letter.” It says “there is not nearly enough solid evidence supporting the link between iron and coronary artery disease,” and that people shouldn’t reduce their daily requirement of iron.

Over the years, we’ve learned of the hazards from power lines, microwave ovens, video display terminals and doctor’s office X-ray machines. We’re supposed to go out and exercise but are then told that running when the air is bad may damage your lungs.

We were told since childhood to go out and enjoy the sunshine but now are told to be sure to wear a wide-brimmed hat, sunscreen and long-sleeved shirts with the collar up in back. My mom says I should drink eight glasses of water a day; Artunian said she saw an article warning of the dangers of lead in the tap water.

Sheesh.

I have a friend who recently marveled at the luminousness (and low price) of her new halogen lamp. Wouldn’t you know it--part of Artunian’s packet of information included a UC Berkeley newsletter that warned about the danger of halogen bulbs. The bulbs, according to the article, “emit ultraviolet radiation that may actually cause sunburn in a few hours and, over long periods, may contribute to the development of skin cancer, according to recent research from Australia, Italy and Britain.”

I can’t answer Judy Artunian’s question about whether all the health reports have the country in a tizzy. But if people aren’t confused, they should be.

Maybe that’s where the expression “worried sick” came from.

Hmmm. I wonder if this isn’t all some giant conspiracy cooked up by the Mayo Clinic and cemetery operators.

Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Readers may reach Parsons by writing to him at The Times Orange County Edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, Calif. 92626, or calling (714) 966-7821.