Slack Off a Little, Hillary

What will Hillary Rodham Clinton be wearing after The Ball? New York designer Randy Kemper has taken pains to make sure it’s something with his label. Reasoning that “the last thing she wants to think about is what to put on,” the thoughtful Kemper dispatched a gift pack to the future First Lady, sparing her a trip to the Little Rock, Ark., boutique where she discovered his line of modern, affordable jackets, skirts and pants.

Included are two requisite navy blue suits and a red tartan silk jacket with velvet lapels and a matching velvet skirt. But Kemper has a dream--Hillary Clinton in pants.

“You don’t wear them on television when your husband is announcing the Cabinet,” he concedes. “But there’s definitely room for them in her schedule. Who wants to run around in high heels and a skirt in the pouring rain?”

So Kemper tossed in two items that beg to be worn with pants: a rose-pink riding jacket and a tuxedo jacket.

* IMAGINE THIS: The new Administration seems to bring out that lovin’ feeling in everyone. This week, Fleetwood Mac announced they’ll reunite for the Inaugural Ball, while another vintage rocker, Yoko Ono, has gifted Bill Clinton and Al Gore with ties from the official John Lennon Artwork on Neckwear collection. The ties, made by Burma Bibes, feature designs inspired by Lennon’s drawings, in this case the scribbly self-portrait used on the cover of the book “Imagine.”

“With John no longer with us,” Ono explains, “(the ties) are a way he can still say hello to people.” Clinton and Gore get an extra “hello” from Ono, who inscribed the back of the ties “Yoko.”

“That makes them investment items,” enthuses publicist Tony Staffieri. “One guy said he’d pay double for a tie with Yoko’s signature.”

Unsigned ties sell for $35 to $50 at Saks Fifth Avenue and Knot Shops. Hmmm . . . wonder what John would have said if Paul McCartney ever tried that?

* SHOPPING NIGHTMARE: Just as she was about to try on a dress at a Sears store in Madison, Wis., Lenore Weber heard tittering outside the dressing room. Looking up, she was no doubt horrified to see her entire disrobed self reflected for all the world in a plexiglass panel.

The store manager tried to make amends by giving Weber the dress. A $60 dress from Sears, however, goes only so far in restoring a woman’s dignity, so Weber sued the store for invasion of privacy. The suit was settled out of court Monday.

Mail order is sounding better all the time.

* CHEAP THRILLS: You know times are tough when a Girl’s Best Friend falls out of favor. This week, De Beers, the South African diamond cartel, put the blame for its 13% decline in 1992 sales on the global recession and a wave of poaching in Angola. But a simpler explanation may be that, in the ‘90s, wearing a diamond is as anachronistic as bleaching your hair blond--unless you add a red toner. (Besides, our new best friend is amber--you know, that fossilized golden sap that, as blondes know only too well, is made for redheads.)

Simple pleasures, on the other hand, never go out of style. Frederick’s of Hollywood reports that its mail-order sales rose 27% over a year ago. No surprises here. What right-thinking woman wouldn’t rather have something ecologically correct--like edible underwear--than a big old flashy diamond?

* CALVINIZED: After honoring Thierry Mugler last year, the California Fashion Industry Friends of AIDS Project Los Angeles wanted to showcase an American designer for its seventh annual benefit in the spring. Calvin Klein will be honored for his contribution to raising money for AIDS services, says Michael Anketell, executive chairman of the $300-ticket event. The buzz is that Very Famous People will take turns on the runway, which won’t hurt the group’s plan to raise $800,000. (The Mugler show raised about half that.) The prospect of a big celebrity turnout, a more mainstream designer, and the addition of 200 seats gained by moving the models to an outdoor tented dressing room could add up to a profitable evening for all.

* SAFE SCENTS: For those of you who grumble about the assaults on your delicate olfactory systems by those pungent perfume-and-ink-soaked fragrance strips, there’s good news.

The March issue of Vogue will contain a sample of the Giorgio fragrance Wings in a leak-proof “scent pack.”

The paper-thin packs were developed by a company that makes medicinal skin patches, the kind that dispense drugs into the blood, after several news stories chronicled readers’ annoyance over smelly things.

“It always has been a problem if the fragrance leaks,” says Vogue publisher Anne Fuchs. “We don’t want any readers not feeling positive about the magazine because of a scent.”