Weekend Special : Getaways Without Going Far : Four Nearby Escapes for People With Different Tastes, Moderate Budgets and Little Time : It’s very simple. We went to the mall, and stayed the weekend. : Orange County : Shoppers’ Nirvana at South Coast Plaza

Doing so, we streamlined our lives into a striking simplicity: There we were, there were our wallets, and there were all those stores. Sleeping in a hotel across the street from mammoth South Coast Plaza, we flung ourselves into two days of browsing, and occasionally buying, in the most lavish and extensive consumer haven in what may be California’s most lavishly extensive consumer community. You know, Orange County.

We shopped. We ate. We shopped further. We marveled at the curbside

lawns, so evenly criss-crossed with lawnmower tracks. When guilt approached, we reminded ourselves that Canadian, Australian and Japanese tourists are said to build entire international itineraries around this place. We also did a little freeway driving and wedged in a stroll around Balboa Island and an interlude of live theater. But the point was shopping. The experience left us a couple hundred dollars poorer, yet richer in spirit and material appurtenances. Also, we now have a fine collection of colorful shopping bags.

Our hotel was the Beverly Heritage in Costa Mesa, which was unremarkable but conveniently located and, with weekend rates at $69 nightly, relatively inexpensive.

The center of our universe was South Coast Plaza. We walked there from the hotel, passing the Orange County Performing Arts Center, the South Coast Repertory theater, and many yards of parking lot. Beyond the lot lay materialist mecca and all its numbing numbers: 200 stores, 2.1 million square feet of retail space on 96 acres. That’s the core of South Coast Plaza alone. Beside it lie the Crystal Court and its 685,000 square feet on 17.8 acres, and South Coast Plaza Village with its 138,000 square feet on 14 acres. (The village area also includes one of the neighborhood’s most ballyhooed new attractions, the Planet Hollywood restaurant--part owners: Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger--which opened in November, shortly after our visit.)

Arriving Friday afternoon, we peeked into the mall to familiarize ourselves with the terrain. It’s enclosed, parking is free unless you want to let a valet do it, maps are plentiful and helpful, and there’s a merry-go-round for children inside. Then we fled to distract ourselves with an evening out before entering the retail trenches.

We drove for dinner to Gustaf Anders, although since it was only a couple of blocks away in South Coast Plaza Village, we really could have walked. It was the fanciest and most satisfying meal of the weekend. The menu included rabbit livers and five kinds of caviar (though our order did not); the bread is baked on the premises; the version of “Unforgettable” on the sound system was not Natalie Cole’s recent duet with her late father, but Nat King Cole’s original version. After dinner, we doubled back to the South Coast Repertory theater, admired the landscaping and took in a well-made comedy, “The Man Who Came to Dinner.” (Moliere’s “The Miser” is there now, and runs through Feb. 14).

At 10 a.m. Saturday, as security cages noisily retracted from store fronts and sales folk took up their stations, we marched into the mall, agenda firm. I needed tennis shoes and a toothbrush holder, and would entertain other possibilities. My wife was gift-hunting.

First the shoes. To Champs, to Mize Sport, to Oshman’s Sporting Goods, to the Foot Locker, and a pause in Nordstrom’s shoe section, where two high school boys stood fingering Doc Martens footwear.

“It’s all in the soles,” one said to the other, both unsmiling.

Back to Mize Sport, where I exchanged $69 for a pair of blue and white cross-trainers.

The toothbrush holder was easier: $1.62 at Crate & Barrel, and out of mind forever. But then the inevitable happened, and minutes dissolved into hours.

A quick browse through the bookstore led to the inspection of an $835 blazer at Barney’s New York, which led in turn to eaves-dropping as a determined mother steered her teen-age daughter toward the doors of J. Crew.

“I will not be seen in this store,” the daughter announced at the entrance. Mom turned wordlessly away.

By lunchtime, we had dropped $44 for books, $20 for greeting cards, $2.50 for a cup of iced coffee from Gloria Jean’s Coffee Bean, and another $26 for more cards and a gift “Babar” video at the Metropolitan Museum of Art store. The numbers mounted further in the afternoon--a belt at the Gap, tea at Piret’s, a shirt on sale at Structure--but we did escape in time for sunset in Newport Beach, 25 minutes’ drive from the shopping center.

If life in the mall is smooth, burnished and largely homogenous, the waterfront is salty and rough-edged, at least by Orange County standards. We walked the Balboa Fun Zone (Ferris wheel, bumper cars, arcade) amid a semi-seedy but benign throng of teens, young families and tattooed young men. We dined cheaply in the tumult of Newport Landing’s upstairs Oyster Bar, with sports on one TV, “Star Trek” on another, blues on the sound system, and a man at the next table loudly and incessantly retelling the tale of the automobile accident he had narrowly averted while parking. (It wasn’t his fault. Really.) Later, we crossed to pricey, compact, residential Balboa Island on the tiny, three-cars-at-a-time ferry boat--at a quarter each, the greatest bargain we found all weekend. We walked all the way ‘round the island, peeking into people’s living rooms as we went, resisting the urge to crash a very posh party. Then to bed.

But this was to be a weekend of shopping, not merely a day.

Sunday, we found our way to Fashion Island (Newport Beach again; this time near the west end of California 73), again arriving as the place stirred to life. It was round, and surrounded by a sea of parking lot. We liked it more than South Coast Plaza--maybe because the scale was less daunting, maybe because most of the big stores stood outdoors under bright sun on a brilliant day, maybe because we knew the ocean was close. Downstairs, beneath the ceiling of the atrium, a pianist sent his trills into the din, and myriad counter workers brandished fast food of many countries. A few steps away, an upscale market offered obscure spices and an entire aisle of mineral waters. Upstairs, a place called Two Guys from Verona was offering a four-foot-high acrylic tyrannosaurus rex for $1,650. We resisted. In fact, we escaped just $2.26 poorer, having purchased one chocolate-chip cookie and 11 ounces of designer water in a cobalt blue bottle.

Now my wife was ready to quit, but I was in too deep. About an hour later, we stood at the Citadel, the freeway-side tire factory-turned-discount-mall with its surrounding castle walls. If you’ve seen it, you remember it. (The Citadel is in the City of Commerce, nine miles south of downtown Los Angeles alongside Interstate 5.)

There were 40-some outlets inside--books, toys, The Gap and Eddie Bauer again, but now with lower prices and sales areas teeming with bargain-hunters. There’s also a Wyndham Garden Court Hotel on the scene.

Our greatest temptation: The Sarah Coventry outlet had a 50-inch-high full-color inflatable doll rendering of Edvard Munch’s “The Scream.” It was $29.95, and the last one left. We were strong, and called it a weekend. Three malls, or five, if you count South Coast Plaza’s smaller siblings. Five hundred stores, probably more. A dozen restaurants, if you count cups of tea and the odd snack. And a trunk full of things.

For a while we were embarrassed about this trip, and how long all that unnecessary but neat stuff had held our attention. But then, not long ago, we were invited to the home of a thoughtful, down-to-earth couple we know. In the corner of their living room stood our old friend the inflatable Munch, 50 inches high, screaming in full color.

GUIDEBOOK

A Shopper’s Weekend

Getting there: Costa Mesa lies south of Santa Ana and north of Laguna Beach; from Los Angeles, southbound drivers can exit Interstate 405 freeway via Fairview Road or Bristol Street offramps, near where California 73 meets 405. To reach Fashion Island from Los Angeles, drive south on 405, continue south on 73, stay on MacArthur Boulevard after highway ends, and turn right on San Miguel Drive.

Where to stay: At least three hotels are within walking distance of South Coast Plaza in Costa Mesa, and each offers weekend discounts.

The Beverly Heritage Hotel, 3350 Avenue of the Arts, (714) 751-5100, has 238 rooms and weekend rates starting at $69 for a double room. The Costa Mesa Marriott Suites, 500 Anton Blvd., (800) 228-9290 or (714) 957- 1100, has 253 rooms--all suites, making it an attractive option for lodgers with children--and offers weekend rates starting at $79 nightly for a double room. The Westin South Coast Plaza, 666 Anton Blvd., (800) 228-3000 or (714) 540-2500, has 407 rooms and suites, with weekend double-occupancy rates starting at $104 per room.

Where to eat: Gustaf Anders, in the South Coast Plaza Village at 1651 W. Sunflower Drive, (714) 668-1737, is just a block from the South Coast Plaza mall. Service is alert, discrete, entrees $15-$26. Trattoria Pino, in South Coast Plaza at 3333 Bristol St., (714) 540-7095, has tile and indoor Cinzano umbrellas with adept Italian food and service; entrees $6-$12. Other well-regarded places I didn’t get to: Bangkok Four, in South Coast Plaza’s Crystal Court at 3333 Bear St., (714) 540-7661, offers Thai food; entrees $8-$18. Il Fornaio Cucina Espressa, 650 Anton Blvd. just south of South Coast Plaza, (714) 668- 0880, offers Italian in an express line, with entrees $4-$10. Back in South Coast Plaza, Birraporetti’s, (714) 850-9090, calls itself an Italian restaurant and Irish bar; entrees $7-$14.

Ferry rides: The fare for riding the venerable ferry between the Balboa Peninsula and Balboa Island is 50 a couple. It’s not a long ride, but it is a vessel in water. Price rises to $1.10 for a car.

When the circus comes to town: Cirque du Soleil, the French-Canadian Circus Troupe, will be playing at South Coast Plaza Jan. 30-Feb. 21. Adult tickets run $12.50-$35.50; children’s prices are about half that. The Cirque du Soleil box office: (714) 549-9497.

For more information: Contact South Coast Plaza, (714) 435-2000, or Fashion Island, (714) 721-2000. For broader information on lodging, dining and arts, there’s the Costa Mesa Chamber of Commerce, (714) 574-8780; the Newport Beach Conference and Visitors Bureau, (800) 942-6278, and the South Coast Metro Alliance, (714) 435-2109.