COMMENTARY : Closing Book on Football

Some final observations on Super Bowl XXVII and the long season that preceded it:

The marriage of sports at its highest level and entertainment at its highest level was finally consummated Sunday. The two have always had, well, relationships, but nothing like this past week in Southern California, particularly in the Rose Bowl. You couldn’t get on an elevator in the Super Bowl hotel headquarters without bumping into a Penny Marshall or Tony Randall. Did you see singer Johnny Gill at Magic and Warren Moon’s party? That’s him, hugging Downtown Julie Brown. Yeah, between Chris Rock and Randall Cunningham.

Was that Hammer and Neon Deion at Marcus Allen’s four-day, four-night bash at the aviation museum? Couldn’t have been, because they just arrived at Prince’s new club. That doesn’t even count all the faces you knew you knew, but couldn’t match with a name: “Knots Landing! Karen’s next-door neighbor who got poisoned, then run over by a truck, right?” Hey, can we get John Tesh in here to help John Madden with this roster? It’s not enough to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated; the NFL wants People magazine, “Entertainment Tonight” and E! network too.

You could say this is all a one-shot deal, a coincidence because the Super Bowl was in L.A., but that would be naive. This was just the launching pad. There’s no turning back. You think the NFL can go from Michael Jackson back to “Up With People?” Of course not. Anything less than Hammer or Madonna next year in Atlanta will be a huge disappointment. Did you see the Super Bowl promos on NBC? “See Garth Brooks, Michael Jackson, and oh, by the way, the NFL championship game.” Well, it was close to that.

It’s tough to tell how much you saw at home, but from where I was sitting, Michael Jackson’s performance wasn’t much better than Buffalo’s. Don’t get me wrong, I think the guy has been the greatest performer of his time, not to mention a philanthropist of the first order. I go way back with MJ, back to when he had an Afro instead of bangs. But is this what people paid $175 for, Michael Jackson lip-synching? Yes, lip-synching. May as well have been Milli-Vanilli. Ten-year-old dance steps and more crotch-grabbing than a major-league baseball player stepping into the box. Talk about a guy who’s lost a step.

Between Brooks singing the national anthem, Jackson’s halftime and a fireworks display at the end of the game, Buffalo’s no-show almost got lost in the shuffle, but the NFL wasn’t quite that lucky.

Okay, we’re not going to waste our breath on the Bills because they’re not worth it, other than to say this is one of the few times where a club needs to keep most of the players and change the coaching staff. Billy Martin is what they need. Buddy Ryan might not be a bad idea. Come on, admit it, you wished Ditka were coaching the Bills right after Kelly’s second interception so he could put the fear of God into Kelly. We’re going to move right past the Bills and ask the question: Can anybody in the AFC play this game?

Answer: Yes, the San Diego Chargers. They run the ball, they rip your face off on defense, and the two Bobbys -- Beathard and Ross -- know what they’re doing. I’m still not sold on Stan Humphries, but everything else appears to be in place, including an NFC attitude. That’s what tells a team to hand the ball to the 240-pound fullback on fourth-and-goal from the one-inch line and run behind the left side of the line, instead of running a wimpy sprintout that results not only in a failed attempt to score, but an interception that produces no points and lets the opponent’s offense off the hook with possession at the 20, not the 1.

At this stage, the AFC shouldn’t be worried about championships, just vital signs. Bill Parcells in New England -- where he could win the division in two years -- and Ryan as defensive coordinator/soon-to-be head coach in Houston are two steps in the right direction.

At first it was a joke, but you’re starting to hear it more and more with each 30-point AFC loss: the NFL should reconfigure the playoffs. Make ‘em like the NCAA tournament; seed the teams one through 12. The AFC teams this season would have been Nos. 7 through 12. If you get four NFC teams in the next-to-last weekend, so be it.

Fans could care less about conference affiliation. All they want to see is good football, which is what they usually get until the final Sunday in January. How many more outcomes like this can the Super Bowl withstand?

Of course its popularity is immense. But don’t you find it slightly interesting that the three showcase TV commercials on Super Sunday all featured basketball players: Michael Jordan, Shaquille O’Neal and Larry Bird. If it weren’t for Ditka, the NFL would have precious few true star personalities. While the NBA pushes its supernovas, many of the NFL stars (with a few exceptions, such as Moon and Boomer Esiason) have become no-commenting recluses for whom fans have little off-field passion. What’s Joe Montana’s signature commerical? The one where he appears with a bunch of NBA players and says, “I can pass.”

The burning question now is what the league will do about Dallas. The Cowboys look a lot like the 1981 San Francisco 49ers, a team whose descendents won four Super Bowls and lost three other times in the NFC title game. The Cowboys have generally as much talent as anybody, are better coached and have an owner in Jerry Jones who will forge with full speed into the free-agent marketplace. The Redskins will provide a formidable challenge, as will the Giants, now that Ray Handley’s out and Dan Reeves is in. The Eagles will cease to exist as we knew them. And it’s up to the Cowboys whether they’ll be a one-year wonder like the 1985 Bears, or a team that’s in your face every January for the long run. Bet on the latter.