DO-IT-YOURSELF CORNER

Jim Mallon and Bob Guilfoyle of Santa Barbara have submitted the following guide for their fellow readers of The Times’ pop music pages, with the message “as with the Mad-Libs of our youth, we think that Robert Hilburn must write his columns from a handy template he keeps under his pillow” :

(put your headline here)

Who’s the hottest ( noun ) in the record business? That’s not an easy question, but I can spend ( large number ) words telling you. A recent Times poll I conducted with ( segment of the pop industry ) revealed that some of the most compelling figures in ( musical genre ) are recording some of the most powerful music of the ( timeless period ). The fact that ( Hilburn personal favorite ) can produce music of such powerful integrity reflects back on how involved they are in their importance as commanding figures.

The acceptance of ( same artist as above ) by mainstream ( social group ) reveals the power and urgency of their music. The helplessness of ( ethnic group ) is seen in the rage expressed by ( token ethnic band ). Contrary to poll results, ( “The Boss” ) is still a genius. (Our poll did correctly indicate that my odds of making it into the journalism wing of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame are ( low fractional number ), which is down from 1981.)

Which brings us to the monthly $50 CD selections. I’ve recently noticed that you can’t buy that many CDs for $50 (especially at ( major record store chain ) ), so my selection this month is ( old Springsteen album ).