IN EXCESS : For Sale by Owner

As if another losing season weren’t enough, Los Angeles Kings owner Bruce McNall is having trouble getting one of his bigger deals off the ground.

So he’s using unconventional means to make it fly: the latest catalogue of Upper Deck Authenticated, a Carlsbad-based sports-collectible company. Through Upper Deck, McNall is offering the uber sports memento: “The Official Los Angeles Kings Boeing 727. A Limited Signed Edition of One.” All for a mere $5 million.

McNall put the jet on the market in the middle of last year after the season convinced him that travel on the luxury jet had not improved the team’s performance. This season, the Kings are flying the Friendly Skies--while jet fanciers are invited to place an order on Upper Deck’s 24-hour 800-number.

The jet features first-class, two-across seating for 70, and boasts two six-rack CD players and some 20 television monitors connected to two state-of-the-art VCRs. Feeling a cramp in your, er, wallet after the purchase? There’s a fully equipped massage table in the aft cabin.

But wait, there’s more. The plane will be signed by the entire team, including “The Great One” (if, in fact, the disgruntled Wayne Gretzky is still with the team when the jet is sold). Just where the players sign is up to the buyer. “They choose, we sign,” says Kings VP for PR, Scott Carmichael.

But for now, the former pride of the Kings sits hangared at McNall Aviation at Van Nuys’ airport awaiting a buyer. Blame it on the economy--or maybe the Kings’ failure to move past the second round of the Stanley Cup playoffs--but prospects haven’t exactly been crowding the runway. So far, reports Carmichael, the New York Yankees and an NFL team have inquired. Oh, and a guy “who wanted to work out a payment schedule of $25 a month for life.”

Meanwhile, the Kings owner seems eager to come to terms. “Who knows?” McNall says. “Maybe Bill Clinton will need another plane for his Air Force One fleet.” The Kings will even drop the $14.95 delivery charge.