An Offer to Sink Teeth Into

T oday’s unconventional wisdom . . .

The Angels: Finally, an encouraging word from training camp--Gene Autry says he is willing to sell the team. There’s a caveat, of course: Autry is waiting to be overwhelmed by an offer and $200 million is what it would take. Hmmmm. An idea: Last season’s Angel home attendance was 2,065,444. Suppose every person who clicked a turnstile in 1992 wrote a check for $97 in 1993. Then suppose that money was pooled and Autry was made an offer he couldn’t refuse. Ninety-seven dollars , people. For the cost of a dinner for two at Bistro 201, you can take your team back. Skip a meal, save the Angels. Think about it.

Bryan Harvey: Just to stoke the fires a little more, Richard Brown now informs us that the Angels deliberately left Harvey unprotected in the expansion draft, hoping Florida would take Harvey’s iffy right elbow (and not-so-iffy $3-million salary) off their hands. Dumb Baseball doesn’t get any dumber than this. Smart Baseball: You protect Harvey and run him through spring training. If his arm shows anything--and early reports from Marlins camp have Harvey “airing it out”--you can either keep your stopper or shop him for a prospect or two. At the very least, you protect Harvey and trade him at the winter meetings for something, anything, even a utility infielder, like the one Toronto traded Kelly Gruber for.

Kelly Gruber: Every headline is worse than the one preceding it. What next? Gruber To Donate Shoulder To Medical Science ? Gruber’s Shoulder Condition ‘Contagious,’ Doctors Say ? Gruber Told Mauch To Pull Witt, Investigation Finds ?

CA: The letters that form the Angels’ new logo. It is a sharp look, I must admit, and according to Brown, Major League Baseball Properties predicts a top-10 finish for the Angels in merchandise sales this season. To paraphrase Billy Crystal’s Fernando, it is more important to look good than to be good.

Fernando Valenzuela: The other Fernando signs a triple-A contract with the Orioles--and the Orioles say it has absolutely nothing to do with Oriole scout Fred Uhlman’s recent assertion that Mexicans can’t run because it’s “a genetic thing.” Let’s try it again. So why did the Orioles sign Valenzuela nearly two years after proving with the Angels he could no longer get major league hitters out? It’s a public relations thing.

Name That Anaheim Hockey Team: Wishful thinking is one thing, but I keep hearing, from sources with NHL credentials, that “Mighty Ducks” is not as sure a nickname slam dunk as the populace seems resigned to. Don’t count your Ducks until they are hatched, I have been told. The Disney press conference looms, so for a few more hours, anyway, hope remains.

Name That Hockey Team ‘Anaheim’: The lease mandates that “Anaheim” be part of the team’s official title. No “California” or “Los Angeles” or “Orange Coast” or “Golden State” or “Left Coast” or “Some Place In Southern California That’s Not Named L.A. Or San Diego And We Continue To Be Embarrassed About It.” For the city of Anaheim, victory at last. It couldn’t be denied this time, not by a league that regards San Jose Sharks, Winnipeg Jets and Edmonton Oilers as perfectly acceptable team names.

Ottawa Senators 2, Pittsburgh Penguins 1: The Anaheim Whatevers should engrave Thursday night’s score on every stick handle. Could be helpful during those 14-game winless streaks.

Minnesota North Stars: Soon to be the Dallas Lone Stars? Wild man Norm Green swears he’s moving, again--and isn’t it interesting how the NHL seems so much more amenable to the idea of Green in Texas than Green in Anaheim? Could it be that chairman of the board Bruce McNall had more to gain with a bad expansion team down the road than Green’s already-competitive North Stars? Could it be that McNall wanted good buddy Michael Eisner in the club and Eisner wanted Anaheim or nothing? Could it be that McNall wanted to make his fellow owners happier, and richer, by raking in a $50 million expansion fee while, shall we say, suggesting to Green that he aim his sights more to the Southwest? Just wondering.

North Carolina Tar Heels: USC Coach John Robinson likes two things about his Pigskin Classic opponents. One, they agreed to play him. Two, they’re not Fresno State.

San Jose State: In 72 hours, Stan Morrison’s Spartans may have salvaged UC Irvine’s basketball season and junked Cal State Fullerton’s. By winning, Irvine remains in contention for the eighth and final spot in the Big West Tournament. By losing, Fullerton remains three to four victories short of catching the NIT’s attention. Now, to win 17 games, Fullerton must sweep New Mexico State and UNLV and win one game in the Big West Tournament. To win 18, Fullerton must do that, plus reach the Big West final.

Cal State Long Beach: Beats Kansas, loses to Cal State Northridge. Does this group belong in the NCAA Tournament or at Magic Mountain?

The Rams: They named no “franchise player,” naturally. They did name two “transition players”--Jim Everett and Sean Gilbert. That seems to be about 45 players short.

Bill Mazeroski’s Baseball ‘93: The best baseball annual on the market ranks all 28 teams according to their “Talent Quotient.” Atlanta, for instance, ranks first with a T.Q. of 42.0. The Angels, at 28.5, are last among established franchises, but ahead of both the expansion Florida Marlins (26.5) and Colorado Rockies (22.5). A wide-eyed optimist, that Maz.