Sorry, no on-the-job training available: The Hollywood...

Sorry, no on-the-job training available: The Hollywood Reporter carried a job opening posted by an unnamed circus for an aerialist who can “perform tricks such as somersaults, quadruple somersaults, double forward with a one-and-one-half twist.”

But it’s not that easy. “Much of this,” the ad said, “is performed blindfolded while 40 feet in the air and returning to the ground with another backward somersault.”

Oh yes. Then there’s the required “double backward somersault on single 9-foot-high stilt.” And: the “five-man-high double backward somersault on human pyramid.”

At least you don’t have to live high. The salary is $350 a week.

White-collar wildness: We recently passed along some of the uninhibited, “L.A. Law”-like sexual rites of attorneys that were reported in California Lawyer magazine. Now comes an issue of California Physician with a headline that says: “Delegates find love on the floor.” Alas, it’s an unkinky tale about two physicians who married after meeting at a medical convention. Even “General Hospital” would reject it.

Dueling signs: Part of the original “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” was filmed in Sierra Madre, leading Greg Horbachevsky to wonder if that’s why the city’s population signs are in disarray (see photo).

List of the day: Here’s our third, and concluding, breakdown of the 190,340 dog names that we obtained from L.A.’s Department of Animal Regulation. Our previous installments covered the most popular general canine IDs as well as the most popular celebrity monikers of hounds. Now, for some of the just unusual, and the number of each:

1. Hey You, 5

2. Smut, 1

3. Apricot Mousse, 1

4. Cocaine, 3

5. Quake, 3

6. Trust No Friend, 1

7. On Ramp, 1

8. L.A. Puke, 1

9. Rolex, 1

10. Did She Bite You, 1

Notice that Did She Bite You doesn’t have a question mark in her name.

Mouth-watering name: No doubt inspired by the emergence of North

Hills, West Hills and Valley Village, another new community seems to have popped up in the San Fernando Valley, judging from the ad that Gillian Johnson of Studio City noticed in a local newspaper (see excerpt). Either that, or “the typesetter was thinking about lunch at the time,” she added.

Dressing for the part: Tom Wilterink was exiting the 605 Freeway in El Monte when he spotted a man holding a sign that said, “Homeless.” Wilterink mentioned to the panhandler that he “would look a lot more homeless” if he removed one part of his wardrobe--the half-dozen keys hanging from his belt.

miscelLAny:

It was almost four decades ago that Lakewood adopted the slogan: “Tomorrow’s City Today.”