Preview of Angels: It’s Thumbs Down

Maybe it’s just me, but I’d rather read about the Angels this spring than watch them.

Bill James, writing in his “1993 Player Ratings Book,” describes Chuck Crim as “the Angels’ answer to Tim Crews. Crim has been utterly ineffective for two straight seasons; I’m a little puzzled by why he keeps getting work. His poor stats in 1992 were opposition batting average, home runs allowed, strikeouts, and ERA. His good stats were . . . um, well, his control wasn’t too bad. He pitched better than Tim Crews did, I think.”

“The 1993 Elias Baseball Analyst” analyzes Chuck Finley and notes that “not many left-handed batters stayed in opponents’ lineups to face him, but those that did tore him up. That .402 batting average was the highest allowed by any left-handed pitcher to lefty batters since 1979 . . . Reminds us of that Come-to-the-Caymans commercial: ‘Just a few know of us, but those that know us love us.’ ”

“The Scouting Report: 1993” reports that “After two seasons, the Angels’ Gary Gaetti experiment ranks up there with ‘Ishtar’ and ‘Heaven’s Gate’ as a Southern California debacle . . . By all accounts, Gary Gaetti is a heck of a guy. But his baseball skills are leaving him the way most people leave a dentist’s office.”

And Glen Waggoner, author of the “1993 Rotisserie League Baseball” guide, advises his faithful legion of draftniks to stay away from catcher Ron Tingley. “Just think, he spent the whole year in the majors and that was before expansion. The mind boggles.”

Hey, is this a fun team or what?

Judging from the dispatches emanating from Diablo Stadium so far, it struck me that this might be a good time to hit the local bookstore and stock up for the summer. So I brought home a few preseason baseball publications, cracked them open and began training for the dog days of April, May, June and July.

Running down the projected everyday lineup, here is what they are saying about the ’93 Angels:

First base: J.T. Snow

James: “Should be comparable to Pete O’Brien, when Pete O’Brien was good.”

Waggoner: “The only knock against this International League MVP is the label of ‘warning-track power.’ Don Mattingly had the same knock 10 years ago.”

“Bill Mazeroski’s Baseball ‘93”: “Isn’t expected to hit more than 12 to 15 homers a year but could bat .300 and produce a lot of runs with a stroke that smokes line drives into the alleys. If Snow hits, scouts say he’ll eventually win a Gold Glove.”

Second base: Damion Easley

The Scouting Report: “The jury is definitely out. Easley has never batted .300 at any level, even in hit-happy Edmonton. He has little home-run power. He’s not much of a groundball hitter, so he isn’t taking full advantage of his speed. In the NBA, they’d call him a ‘project.’ ”

Elias: “Projections for 1993 (Optimistic): 294 at-bats . . . 79 hits . . . 13 doubles . . . 4 home runs . . . 32 RBIs . . . .268 batting average.”

Third base: Rene Gonzales

James: “He had played so little in the previous five years with Baltimore and Toronto that his hitting skills are hard to pin down exactly, but if I was a betting man I’d bet that 1992 was a fluke, and he won’t approach it again.”

Waggoner: “He got regular playing time for the first time and became the latter-day equivalent of the current Wade Boggs. Somehow, this all doesn’t make much sense.”

Shortstop: Gary DiSarcina

James: “He had the kind of year which enables you to keep your job to see if maybe you’ll play better.”

Mazeroski: “DiSarcina’s trial-by-fire wasn’t pretty last year. He played 157 games and tied with Cleveland’s Mark Lewis for most errors by an AL shortstop (25) . . . He batted a limp .247 last season, yet continually flailed away. ‘He has to learn how to handle the bat,’ a scout said. ‘He swings from his (rear) instead of using his head.’ ”

Elias: “Averaged one walk every 27.7 plate appearances, the lowest rate by any A.L. player last year.”

Waggoner: “Considering some of the Angels, this kid, all in all, isn’t too bad.”

Left field: Luis Polonia

Elias: “Despite only two and a half years with the Angels, he is about to set the franchise career record for most times caught stealing.”

The Scouting Report: “His adventures in the outfield still rival Disneyland as the most exciting attraction in Anaheim.”

Waggoner: “Probably the Angels’ best player. If he’s your best player, you are in deep trouble.”

Center field: Chad Curtis

James: “He’s a good outfielder and a good baserunner, but then, so was Dante Bichette; that only goes so far. Curtis will either regress this year, like Milt Cuyler and Brian McRae, or become a quality player. I’m betting on the latter.”

Mazeroski: “Emerged from the bowels of the organization to become the everyday center fielder, which says a lot about the dearth of talent on the Angels’ farm . . . Plays hard but is short on tools. He’s good for the occasional home run and stolen base, and covers adequate ground in center field, but tends to take foolish chances that lead to extra bases.”

The Scouting Report: “Was probably the Angels’ most successful newcomer since Wally Joyner.”

Right field: Tim Salmon

James: “It is difficult to make an accurate projection for him as a major league hitter because his ’92 performance is dramatically better than what he has done before, his average up 100 points. He had fought injuries until last year. If ’92 represents a real level of ability, he’ll be a star.”

Waggoner: “The top minor league performer of 1992, according to many observers. His AAA stats were augmented by the Angels taking their sweet time to call him up. One caution: high strikeout totals usually mean a hitter will need time to adjust, especially in the American League.”

Mazeroski: “An athlete from the mold of Rob Deer, and strikes out with Deer-like regularity, averaging 146 whiffs the past two seasons . . . Scouts say Salmon can be a major league cleanup hitter, but with no protection for him in the lineup, doubt that he’ll have a big rookie season.”

Catcher: John Orton

James: “His career average is .203, but I doubt that he’s really a .203 hitter. I suspect he’s more like a .185 hitter.”

The Scouting Report: “Attempts to shorten his swing have failed, and he looks as if every curveball is the first one he’s (ever) seen. . . . The attitude at Anaheim Stadium has changed from anticipation to impatience.”

Mazeroski: “Either steps up or Whitey Herzog has to go outside the organization for a catcher.”

Designated hitter: Chili Davis

The Scouting Report: “Davis was in a salary bracket last year at which the Twins felt cheated by his power numbers. He was a free agent over the winter, and although he expressed a desire to return to Minnesota, the feeling did not appear to be mutual.”

Waggoner: “We figure he will bounce back. But how far? That power outage has us a little worried.”

Elias: “Returns to the Angels, for whom he played 425 games from 1988 to 1990. Believe it or not, that’s more games with the Angels than anyone else on the team’s current roster.”

As I was saying, the 1993 Angels pocket schedule makes a dandy bookmark.