Bathroom humor: Getting a jump on April...

Bathroom humor: Getting a jump on April Fool’s Day, KIIS AM-FM disc jockey Rick Dees announced that, due to a backed-up sewer system, toilets all over the Southland were apt to explode Monday. He cautioned listeners to put at least 10 pounds of weight on their toilet seats to prevent their households from being flooded with sewage.

Several hundred panicky people phoned agencies in L.A. and Orange counties. “I just got back from vacation and wondered if I had missed something,” said Bob Hayes, a spokesman for the L.A. city Public Works Department. “I checked and found we had no problems. It was very irresponsible of him (Dees) to tie up our workers (on the phone). . . . Fortunately, I think a lot of people just decided to go to work rather than stand on their toilet seat all day.”

Station spokeswoman Karin Tobin said his hoax “was intended in good fun--he said at the end of the broadcast it was April Fool’s.” Dees, once the No. 1 morning-drive radio host, is now No. 5. His ratings have sort of gone down the tubes.

List of the day: Here’s still another knock at Southern California. WordStar’s Spelling Check system denies the existence of several Southland communities. It recognizes Hollywood, Malibu and even Cerritos. But when we punched the following names into our home computer, WordStar suggested these alternative spellings:

1--Calabasas: Calamities

2--Laguna: Lagos

3--Marina del Rey: Marina del Prey, Marina del Hey, Marina del Rye

4--Redondo Beach: Redford Beach

5--Reseda: Reseat

6--San Marino: San Marriott

7--Sepulveda: Sepulcher

8--Sylmar: Sylvania, Sylvester, Sylvia

9--Van Nuys: Van Guys, Van Nubs, Van Bugs.

10--Westwood: Westchester, Westminster, Westinghouse

As for Agoura Hills and Rancho Cucamonga, WordStar’s insulting response in each case was: “No suggestion.”

Stupid criminal tricks: Three men in ski masks robbed a Rolling Hills Estates bank the other day but made the darndest discovery. They forgot to bring an empty bag for the money. So, one of the robbers emptied out his bulging gym bag and put the money in there . Among the contents left on the bank floor were two traffic tickets with the name and address of the suspect.

Next, the robbers couldn’t start their get-away car so they jumped into another and sped away. The car they left behind contained wallets and IDs of two of the suspects.

All three of the suspects were tracked down, needless to say.

miscelLAny:

Eight decades ago, The Times ran a futuristic drawing of a transit system that would provide “relief of overcrowded streets” that included such features as a monorail and people mover. Just think: If it had been constructed, L.A. would have had the first Disneyland. At least we have Van Guys and Marina del Rye.