Other Than That, They’re Pretty Good

If you have ever wondered what British TV critics think of our golf announcers, here’s a sampling:

From Ian Wooldridge of the Daily Mail on Ben Wright, the former British newspaperman turned CBS golf commentator, and his American counterparts:

“Without wishing to diminish an accolade he has strived years to attain, the truth is that Ben Wright had nothing to beat. Almost to a man, America’s indigenous golf commentators sound like half-wit hillbillies reliving all their yesterdays round a camp fire.”

Add Wooldridge: “Bereft of an original turn of phrase, dispensing cliches like election mailshots, declaiming non sequiturs of prodigious lunacy in the tones of Charlton Heston, polishing one another’s egos and generally investing golf with an importance above all other goings-on in this violent world, they seem devoid of all original thought and are particularly frantic when it becomes apparent that, for the fifth time in six years, a non-American is about to win the Masters.”

Long-winded, isn’t he?

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Trivia time: Who said this: “The only thing worse than a Mets’ game is a Mets’ doubleheader.”

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Bol(d) move: In “Manute,” the book by Leigh Montville on Manute Bol, the Philadelphia 76ers’ 7-foot-7 center from Sudan, someone suggested in his homeland that he should learn to dunk.

“He had no idea what it meant to dunk. Someone explained it to him. Bol jumped, hit his mouth on the rim and knocked out two front teeth.”

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Bovine royalty: The Cow Palace in Daly City, Calif., which has been home to livestock shows, rodeos and now the San Jose Sharks of the NHL, got its name during construction in 1935.

A San Francisco newspaper complained about the Depression-era project claiming that “while people are being evicted from their homes, a palace is being built for cows.”

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No big deal: Hakeem Olajuwon of the Houston Rockets on playing center in the NBA: “I don’t compare myself with 7-foot centers. To me, a true big-man’s game is boring. I used to admire the big man, but now I’m changing to a more mobile game.”

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True confession: Before 45-year-old knuckleball pitcher Charlie Hough started and won the first game in Florida Marlin history, Joe DiMaggio threw out the first ball. Said Hough: “I think he threw harder than me.”

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Just the facts: From “Baseball’s Even Greater Insults”: Manager Sparky Anderson to the Detroit Tigers, the season after their 1984 World Series victory:

“Don’t tell me it’s a lack of concentration. Don’t tell me you’re struggling at the plate. Don’t tell me it’s a lack of preparation. Just tell me you’re terrible.”

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Trivia answer: Casey Stengel, Met manager in 1962.

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Quotebook: New England Coach Bill Parcells on the Patriots’ new uniforms: “I don’t have any expertise in uniforms. I think all uniforms look nice if you’ve got good players in them.”