Why do these things always have to...

Why do these things always have to happen on weekends?One of the hot topics among psychics at a UFO conference in Rachel, Nev., was a prediction that Southern California will be destroyed by earthquakes Saturday at precisely 7:05 p.m.

It seems a pity, especially with the Lakers just starting to play good basketball.

Anyway, the forecast was supposedly gleaned from the writings of the 16th-Century prophet Nostradamus, who also inspired a May 10, 1988, quake prediction that proved groundless.

The psychics, realizing there may be a few doubters (aren’t there always?), pointed out that they’re not alone on this one. They said that some U.S. military personnel in Germany arrived at the same date while operating a Ouija board.

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List of the Day: Southern California is practically synonymous with Doomsday. Here are a few you’ve survived:

* Oct 17, 1992--Picked by a Jamaican Jewish clairvoyant during an L.A. press conference. “I have an antenna behind each ear,” he revealed, “and they throb when an earthquake is coming.”

* Jan. 22, 1991--Picked by geologist Jim Berkland because of a larger-than-usual number of missing-animal reports in the L.A. Times classified section.

* May 10, 1988--Picked by followers of Nostradamus. Two disc jockeys from the coast of Arizona came west to observe.

* April 10, 1981, 5:31 a.m.--Picked by Wall Street guru Joseph Granville, who obviously had no insider information in this area.

* June 9, 1980--Picked by a Hollywood evangelist who showed up 20 minutes late for his own press conference, explaining he had overslept.

* Feb. 12, 1969--Inspired by the book, “The Last Days of the Late, Great State of California.” The rock group Shango recorded a song with these lyrics:

Do you know the swim?

You better learn quick, Jim

Those who don’t know the swim

Better sing the hymn.

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Not that it’ll matter after Saturday. . . : A prominent fast-food fan has commended Downey residents who want to save the city’s most famous landmark, a 40-year-old McDonald’s stand.

“Your work to preserve this landmark is admirable,” an assistant wrote on behalf of President Clinton. “Please keep us posted of any development.”

The letter was sent to Rep. Steve Horn, who had written to Clinton about the company’s plans to close the eatery, the world’s oldest operating McDonald’s. It’s so old that the stand displays Speedee the Chef, who was the chain’s original mascot.

If Clinton would personally promise to chug some coffee there on his next visit, he might be able to save Speedee’s place. At least that’s what our Ouija board says.

miscelLAny:

Perhaps Nostradamus’ predictions of disaster for Southern California have been misinterpreted. The astrologer’s real name coincides with that of a school that has wreaked football havoc on the University of Southern California football team for 10 straight years. He was born Michel de Notredame.