NORTHRIDGE : Family Service Threatened by Funding Crisis

When Lily Orient of Northridge was 2 years old and would not eat because of a chronic illness, her parents decided they needed help. So they got a new grandmother.

The Orients sought out The Family Friends Project in North Hollywood, which sent an energetic Van Nuys woman named Josephine Aron to the family as a surrogate grandmother. Now, two years later, Lily is eating regularly for the first time, but the program is in danger of ending.

“We’re in extreme jeopardy of closing the program due to lack of funding,” said Susan Forer-Dehrey, director of the program at the Valley storefront. “If the program ends, many other people would not be able to benefit from the same relationship as Josephine and the Orients.”

The Orients are one of about 70 citywide matches provided by Family Friends. All, like Lily and Aron, match chronically ill or disabled children with nurturing senior citizens who volunteer once a week as surrogate grandparents. The ailments range from cerebral palsy to Down’s syndrome to acquired immune deficiency syndrome.

“Some of the children’s grandparents are dead or they live far away. Sometimes it’s just too difficult for a grandparent to deal with,” Forer-Dehrey said. “With a family friend, that person is more objective and not as judgmental.”

That is exactly the kind of person the Orient family needed. As a result of being born three months prematurely, Lily suffered from “failure to thrive” syndrome, which meant she could not eat on her own and had to be fed through a tube in her nose or stomach. At the same time, her mother, Krisztina Pauley-Orient, had a terminal liver disease for which she had a transplant.

“I really needed someone to talk to who could relate to the whole problem. Most people don’t know what it’s like to spend an hour to feed a child a bottle of milk,” said Pauley-Orient, whose husband, George, works as an engineer at Rocketdyne. “We have a real grandpa and step-grandma, but they are always working. Josie’s like a real grandma without the strings attached.”

For a woman who never had children of her own, Aron is a surprisingly good grandmother, the Orients say. She seems to have no limit to her patience, and even brings special socks to wear when she roughhouses with Lily. She has even helped with Lily’s feedings.

“I try to be like the real grandma who is there when she is needed,” said Josephine, 72, who was left alone when her husband died three years ago. “We go for walks. Sometimes we go to the zoo or to the movies. She is such a delight.”

The feeling is mutual. The Orients have gone beyond the regular one visit a week to include Aron in holidays and other family events. As a result, Pauley-Orient said she will continue to invite Aron over to visit Lily even if the program is curtailed, but she hopes the Family Friends Project can find the needed $135,000 by September to keep it going.