Teams Wrestling With Consequences : Figuring Him Out Is No Piece of Cake

It being Marty McSorley’s 30th birthday, the cheerful delivery boy came into the Kings’ clubhouse as soon as Tuesday’s practice was over, clutching a fistful of colorful balloons. With a twinkle in his eye and a shiner beneath it, Marty glanced up with amusement and wondered whom they were from.

Luc Robitaille looked up, too.

“Hey, Marty! Happy birthday!” Robitaille called across the room. “From Doug and Wendel!”

McSorley wouldn’t say who had sent the balloons, but Robitaille’s wisecrack brought a crooked grin to McSorley’s stitched-up face. And a stitched-up face suited McSorley--jersey number No. 33 but more like public enemy No. 1 here in Canada since his violent check on Toronto star Doug Gilmour and subsequent fistfight with Wendel Clark interrupted Monday night’s playoff game at Maple Leaf Gardens.

An answering machine that takes messages at the players’ hotel was ringing off the hook with sentiments toward McSorley that did not wish him a happy birthday.

“One said, ‘Marty, you’re the biggest goon in the league, you goof!’ ” McSorley said.

You goof?

I’m sure Maple Leaf fans can rag Marty better than that. I’m sure they will. Earplugs will be required equipment for Game 2 tonight. McSorley is the King of clubs to these people now. In their minds, he is the official villain of the Campbell Conference finals. It doesn’t even matter that Marty is actually one of them--that he was born in Ontario. He’s a goon and he’s a goof.

The rhinoceros charge McSorley made at Gilmour comes in the wake of a recent occurrence wherein another team’s best player, Pierre Turgeon of the New York Islanders, was nailed from behind after scoring a goal by Dale Hunter of the Washington Capitals, who was sentenced to a 21-game suspension for his dastardly act.

In baseball, a superstar who hits a home run is sometimes subjected to a buzzing fastball that nearly shaves his chin--what some would call a necessary act; what others would call a cowardly one.

I don’t know what got into Marty McSorley. Who ever knows what gets into this guy?

Off the ice, he is as charming as can be. I once sat in the stands of the Culver City ice arena, unbeknown to Marty, observing as a family of visitors to a practice approached him afterward to ask for autographs or photos. Marty did everything but invite them over to his Manhattan Beach home. He threw his arms around the kids, kidded around, made endless small talk and made everyone feel as though they had just met the sweetest man on Earth.

Then the big goof goes out and plays hockey.

He can’t explain his behavior, any more than a friendly kitten can explain giving chase to a mouse. Incidents from McSorley’s rap sheet are almost too numerous to mention. While playing for Edmonton in 1988, he went ‘way out of his way to spear Calgary’s Mike Bullard in front of the Flames’ home fans. Suspended.

As recently as last October at Boston, he cross-checked Darren Banks in the face. Suspended.

Marty McSorley has more suspensions than San Francisco bridges.

But on he plays, with a short fuse and a shorter memory.

This Gilmour incident, for instance--wasn’t that much like the Bullard thing?

“Uh, I have temporary amnesia,” McSorley answered.

His old partner in crime from Edmonton and L.A. days, Mike Krushelnyski--they came to the Kings as part of the Wayne Gretzky trade--is employed by Toronto now and got a good look at this latest selection from McSorley’s Greatest Hits album. Even he had difficulty defending an old friend.

“I know Marty is a competitor, but it was sort of a cheap shot,” Krushelnyski said. “A message was definitely sent.”

A winner-beware message? After all, Turgeon had just won Game 6 of a playoff series when Hunter ambushed him. And Gilmour had two goals and two assists in Game 1 of a big series when McSorley introduced himself.

Debris rained from the stands as McSorley and Clark took the gloves off and flailed at one another. Someone even hurled a crutch, which McSorley coincidentally came across Tuesday just outside the Kings’ dressing room.

He came away from the game with another black eye--as did, in some minds, his profession.

But Marty has to be Marty, the all-time leader for the Kings in penalty minutes, a goon, a goof, and yet the winner of the “Most Popular Player” contest sponsored by the Kings and voted on by their fans, and a player as active as anybody on the team in charity and community-service work.

So, happy birthday, Marty.

We’ll light a candle for you.