Turn left at the tutu: In its...

Turn left at the tutu: In its advertising for a recent Venice 5K and 10K run, the Chiat/Day agency described the starting point as the corner of “Rose and Main, where the transvestite ballerina clown also kicks up his/her heels.”

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But first he should get a new translator: Levinson Entertainment Ventures International Inc. received a fax from the president of a South Korean-based business who said he wanted to take the opportunity “to herald our spurious international software market plan for TV/CATV. . . .”

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More proof you can’t tell whether you’re coming or going in L.A.: The restored Lindbergh beacon, which used to grace the top of City Hall, is on display at LAX’s Tom Bradley International Terminal. A plaque there says it stands “as a welcoming symbol to the millions of visitors and immigrants who come to Los Angeles from around the world.”

Actually, as Scott Dewees of L.A. points out, it’s in the departure area.

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Officer, get me to the church on time: The numbers 911 have special meaning to people in law enforcement. But Sharon Papa, the chief of the Metropolitan Transportation Authority police, says it’s mere coincidence that she has chosen 9-11 (Sept. 11) as her wedding date.

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The eatery that won’t die: Seventy years ago, the Silver Lake restaurant was called the Devil’s Mess. Later it was the Nook, and, more recently, Millie’s.

Under an owner known only as Magenta, Millie’s proudly displayed the slogan: “Where waitress is queen . . . and the customer is always wrong!” And the menu of the Sunset Boulevard joint listed a dish that old soldiers would recognize but which we hope was spurious: “(Stuff) on a Shingle.”

In March, it looked like taps for Millie’s when the Internal Revenue Service closed it down. But now a former owner, Paul Greenstein, and some partners are reopening the colorful eatery on Thursday.

While Greenstein insists he “hasn’t gone classy,” the “shingle” dish is no longer on the menu. Magenta is gone. Something else is missing, too. “We just scraped about 10 years of grease off the walls,” Greenstein said.

miscelLAny:

The only First Lady to die in L.A. County was Lucretia Rudolph Garfield, wife of the 20th President, who died in Pasadena in 1918. Orange County has this distinction: President Warren G. Harding’s father, George, died in Santa Ana in 1928.