A Feast for Sore Eyes

Who says you have to be a professional chef to whip up a cookbook? “I believe that ignorance in the kitchen sweetens the taste of even the smallest culinary accomplishment,” says Bob Blumer, author and illustrator of “The Surreal Gourmet: Real Food for Pretend Chefs” (Chronicle Books).

One morning two years ago, Blumer woke up and decided to write a cookbook. Now his Surreal Gourmet empire includes a line of aprons and T-shirts, calendar, boxed note cards and television appearances.

The user-friendly recipes in his book include items such as “Notes” (to keep “guac” from turning brown, squeeze lemon juice over the top), “Music to Cook By” (Luis Prima’s “Zuma” for Pesto Pasta) and “Le Secret” (the best grilled veggie flavor comes from real hardwood charcoal). Of his wacky illustrations, he says, “They are simply an extension of the notion that food isn’t only what it is, it’s what you make it.”

Blumer, manager for singer-songwriter Jane Siberry, calls for no machines of modern age. His appliances, he says, are older than him. Key in his kitchen are well-worn stools for his friends to sit on as he cooks. As he explains in his book, “Many of the pleasures of eating are not derived from the food itself, but rather the comfortable atmosphere created around it.”

Grilled Vegetables

Try any combination of the following:

Baby yellow squash, sliced in half lengthwise; Japanese eggplant, sliced in half lengthwise; Corn, as is, in its husk. Etc. . . .

Basted with:

1/4 cup olive oil; 1 tbsp. tamari (preferable) or soy sauce; 1 tbsp. Oriental toasted sesame oil (optional)

*

1) In a bowl or cup, mix olive oil and tamari or soy sauce.

2) For all vegetables, except corn, place on grill and baste frequently with oil mixture (use a basting brush if available). Turn and cook until browned to taste. (Approximately 5 minutes.)

3) When grilling vegetables such as squash and eggplant, add sesame oil to the olive oil mixture.

4) Corn can be cooked by simply placing it in its husk on the grill directly over hot coals and rotating it every couple of minutes for approximately 12 minutes.

Guacamole

(Serves six to eight)

A spicier, fresher tasting variation of the traditional recipe.

INGREDIENTS

2 ripe avocados (Ripe=indents easily with the firm press of a finger. . .but don’t let the produce person see you)

1/2 cup fresh cilantro, stems removed, chopped finely

1 dried hot red pepper, crushed (or 1 tsp. crushed chili peppers)

1 garlic clove, minced

Juice of one lemon

4 scallions, chopped finely

1 tsp. fresh ground black pepper, or to taste

1/2 tsp. salt, or to taste

1/8 tsp. cayenne pepper (optional)

*

1) Slice avocado in half and discard skin.

2) In a bowl, add all ingredients. Blend with a fork or a double-bladed chopper. (I prefer to leave my guacamole somewhat chunky.)

Cream of Pesto Pasta With Asparagus and Corn

(Serves two)

It’s simple to prepare, visually pleasing and very tasty.

INGREDIENTS

1/4 tsp. salt

4 tbsp. butter

1 fresh ear of corn, husk and remove kernels with a sharp knife. Discard cob (or save to make pipe)

10 spears of asparagus, discard bottom quarter of spear and cut remainder into 1-inch pieces

1-2 garlic cloves, minced

1 fresh or dried hot pepper, finely diced or crushed (very optional)

2 servings of fresh angel hair egg pasta (approximately 4 oz./serving)

1/3 cup half & half cream

4 tbsp. (3 oz.) fresh pesto sauce

1/3 cup of grated Parmesan cheese

1/2 tsp. fresh ground pepper

*

1) In a large pot, bring 6 cups of salted water to a boil.

2) In a saute, pan, over medium-high heat, melt 2 tbsp. butter. Saute asparagus, corn, garlic and hot pepper for 5-8 minutes until corn kernels begin to brown. Reserve in a warmed bowl. Save pan for step 4.

3) Add pasta to boiling water and cook according to directions.

4) In the same saute pan, over low heat, melt remaining 2 tbsp. butter and slowly stir in cream, Parmesan (save a pinch for garnish), pesto and black pepper. Stir and simmer over low heat for 2 minutes.

5) Drain pasta.

6) Add pasta to pesto cream sauce (in pan). Toss.

7) Serve on warmed plates or in bowls. Top with asparagus and corn.