Spreading Laughs Loud and Clear : KROQ’s ‘Maintenance Man’ Is the Morning Drive-Time Prankster

Michael (the Maintenance Man) Burton points his BMW toward Trouble and steps on the gas. His mission: Sneak into a stranger’s back yard before 8 a.m., shoot a few baskets and wake up a ritzy Encino neighborhood by bellowing into a battery-powered megaphone.

That the assignment could easily result in his being arrested, sued or worse seems not to faze Burton, a real-life janitor who doubles as a fearless prankster for the “Kevin and Bean Show” on KROQ-FM (106.7).

Alarmingly willing to thrust himself into almost any predicament his radio taskmasters cook up for him, the jovial janitor becomes almost remorseful when asked if he’s ever turned down an assignment.

“Yeah,” the lanky 28-year-old Cleveland native admits. “When (President) Clinton came to town. They wanted me to give him a Happy Meal. That’s one thing I don’t mess with--the Secret Service.”

It may be the only thing.

When news broke that ducks in the Venice canals were infected with herpes, Michael the Maintenance Man chased the ailing fowl with his trademark bullhorn, promising on-the-spot applications of the anti-viral creme Zovirax.

Capitalizing on the recent Pepsi scare, Burton happily served as a “Personal Pepsi Taster” for 45 fans in Long Beach, checking their beverages for syringes.

Another popular gag is “Michael the Maintenance Man: Your Car Pool Pal.” Kevin and Bean periodically announce Burton’s location over the air, then urge solo commuters who wish to travel in the car pool lane to pick him up. When a motorist arrives, Michael hops in and catches a ride to wherever, staying in touch with Kevin and Bean and their listeners via cellular phone.

All of which begs the questions: How does one get into this line of work, and why would anyone want to?

According to KROQ lore, Kevin Ryder and Gene (Bean) Baxter, the wisecracking morning team at the alternative rock station, asked Burton to do an impromptu weather report as he was tidying up the studio 3 1/2 years ago.

Burton complied and when his less-than-daring forecast of sunshine hit the mark, Kevin and Bean had him do it again. Soon his rap “Weather Time” was a regular on the show.

Burton quickly advanced to mock movie reviews and something called the “White Culture Minute,” in which Kevin and Bean would quiz Burton on such Anglo arcana as the names of the Partridge Family children and the highest-grossing country-Western singers of all time.

But it wasn’t until Kevin and Bean sent him into the streets with a bullhorn that he found his true niche: giving away tickets to concerts and other events, mingling with his growing flock of fans and wreaking high-volume havoc at every turn.

Nowadays, Kevin and Bean feign regret for having created a monster. “Michael has a big ego problem,” chides Bean. In a rare semi-serious moment, however, the drive-time duo concede that Burton is a big part of their show, now rated fourth in overall listenership in L.A.’s crowded morning market.

“I think people just respond to the genuineness of the guy,” Bean says. “He’s so un-Hollywood. He’s a 10 on the likability scale and an 11 on the annoying scale.”

Burton’s brand of in-your-face comedy is hardly new to broadcasting. David Letterman, for example, routinely employs jarring characters to play on an unsuspecting public, and one of comedian Howard Stern’s regular features on his syndicated radio show (heard locally on KLSX-FM (96.7) opposite “Kevin and Bean”) is to send out staffer John Melendez to ask rude questions of celebrities.

But Burton and his pals seem intent on placing their own irreverent imprint on the genre.

Disregarding the political sensitivities of the day, Kevin and Bean, who are both white, take a sophomoric delight in sending a black man with a bullhorn into situations where his race becomes part of the stunt.

Last month, for example, when a group of African-American Secret Service agents sued Denny’s, charging discriminatory service, Burton was promptly dispatched to one of the chain’s restaurants in Orange County. Once seated, he ordered breakfast, without incident. A few minutes later--with Kevin and Bean coaching him via cellular telephone--Burton stood up and screamed into the bullhorn, “Can’t a black man get some coffee in this damn restaurant?”

Perhaps his proudest moment was when he snuck up to the opulent hotel suite where country star Billy Ray Cyrus was staying while in town for the Grammy Awards. Standing outside the door with the bullhorn, Burton repeatedly derided Cyrus’ music and dared him to get his “white ass out of bed.” Hotel security promptly escorted Burton from the building.

Burton obviously relishes his role as much as the show’s hosts do, but not all listeners approve.

“Sometimes people get offended,” Burton acknowledges. “They say Kevin and Bean shouldn’t say ‘a black man this’ or ‘a black man that.’ But I don’t think it’s racist. It’s funny.”

It can also be risky.

Burton has yet to be arrested, but he’s come close--never closer than the time he showed up at an on-location appearance of KIIS-FM’s Rick Dees, a Kevin and Bean rival, and began badgering him with--you guessed it--the bullhorn.

Police were called to the scene, and Burton was told to move along or else.

Similar indignities marred his recent attempt to play back yard basketball. Over the air, Kevin and Bean billed the stunt as a sincere attempt to have Burton mediate a publicized tiff between two Encino neighbors who were at odds over a private basketball court.

After an initial bullhorn mishap--waking up the wrong person in the wrong house--Burton located the correct court and began shooting hoops with a red-and-white basketball. Within a minute, a woman emerged, demanded to know who he was, furiously ordered him off the property, threatened to call the police and vowed future legal action.

Burton was apologetic, even contrite--until he reached the street. “Please come out!” he shouted into the bullhorn and over the air. “We need to resolve this! Life is too short to act this way. . . . Can’t we all get along?”

His mission complete, Burton hopped into his car and headed back to the station, a long day still ahead. In addition to his radio work (for which he is paid--but won’t say how much), Burton runs his own janitorial company, works on the maintenance staff at Lincoln Middle School in Santa Monica and manages the Burbank apartment complex where he lives.

Indeed, his future look as bright as a freshly mopped floor. He has his own “Michael the Maintenance Man” T-shirts coming out and a rap record on the shelf at an area record store. He says he even sees himself doing movies some day.

As for his personal life, Burton says he’s “still looking for Mrs. Maintenance Man” as a result of a nasty break-up with his latest fiancee.

“She got angry and said, ‘You gotta make a choice--me or KROQ,’ ” Burton recalled. “I said, ‘Baby, hit the road.’ ”