MUSIC : Band Creature Feature Rocks for Partying Dude Crowd : Local musicians will perform their types of songs--loud, fast and louder and faster--at the Brewhouse in Santa Barbara.

Did you waste your life in college studying something you couldn’t even spell? Did your field of study end up having a percentage of employment lower than the Screen Actors Guild’s? Was college just a slick way of making your parents finance four years of Party 101?

Well, maybe you answered yes to all of the above. But Jeffers Richardson, who works at the Brewhouse in Santa Barbara, didn’t waste his time when he got a degree from UC Davis. Yep, it was in Fermentation Sciences, and Richardson is very good at his job. The beer he serves up comes in three flavors: Mean, Meaner and See Ya Later.

But beer isn’t the only thing that’s served up at the Brewhouse. There’s also the live music it dishes out on weekends. For a taste of it, this Saturday night you can catch local rockers, Creature Feature. They play three kinds of songs: Loud, Fast and Louder and Faster.

“Maybe Steppenwolf meets Metallica,” said singer/guitarist Giancarlo Mistretta as he described the band. “We’re just heavy, but without the Spandex pants. We have probably about 25 originals, and about that many covers. We even do a Duran Duran cover.”

Creature Feature doing Duran Duran? Those techno pop foofoo boys in Duran Duran would fail the T-shirt dress code at the Headbanger’s Ball. The idea makes about as much sense as Nirvana doing an Elton John song.

Not surprisingly, Creature Feature attracts the party animal dude crowd, plus the usual assortment of cheap friends.

“We seem to attract a lot of younger kids, especially when we play at Buster’s in Goleta, an all-ages place,” Mistretta said. “The kids are totally into it--they don’t care about beer or how much it costs. Otherwise, your friends are always asking you to put them on the guest list.”

Also coming to all their shows is the group’s manager, who, among other things, keeps an eye on the door guys who take the cash at various gigs. Alas, that’s the way rock is.

Joining Mistretta on stage are drummer Jef Kirchmaier and his bass-playing brother, Greg Kirchmaier. The latter was recently voted Dude of the Month by a metal music magazine, which surely beats Dud of the Decade.

Creature Feature, around for nearly four years, plays the usual places in the very lively S.B. scene.

“I guess the local scene is pretty good,” said Mistretta. “No other band is doing our sort of original thing. There’s everything from blues to metal to industrial to death metal in this town. Everyone seems to have their own little scene.”

Mistretta’s personal little scene began nine years ago when he was 14 and got his first guitar, an acoustic. A year later he got a Les Paul, which he still plays. These days, the band--named for a line in a Damned song--is following the rock star scenario step by step. They’ve already got band T-shirts, a tape and a new CD that should be out shortly.

“We’re in no hurry,” said Mistretta. “We haven’t sent out a bunch of promo stuff or anything like that. We did a showcase one time for a guy from A&M; who called us up and wanted to see us play. We just finished recording 10 songs at Castle Music in Santa Barbara. It’s going to be called ‘Retro Demon 263’ because we didn’t want to call it ‘Creature Feature’ or name it after one of the songs. The title is a line from one of our old songs.”

Opening on Saturday will be one of the best kept secrets in Santa Barbara: Blackworm. They recently released an outstanding debut tape, which reportedly is attracting some label interest. It’s worth the drive alone just to hear them do “I Slit Myself.”

The idea of the song is bad and no one is worth it, but it’s still a good soundtrack while you slurp a glass of See Ya Later and think about college.

* WHERE AND WHEN

Creature Feature and Blackworm at the Brewhouse, 202 State St., Santa Barbara, (805) 963-3090. Saturday night, 9 p.m. $3