Bulls’ Impossible Task: Step Forward and Be Like Mike

From Shaun Powell of Newsday: “Now, the City of Slumped Shoulders must cope with more than the ultimate hoops hangover.

“Now, it must deal with the notion of Chicago Bulls forward Scottie Pippen as the Air apparent.

“No one with any sense of sanity can suggest that Pippen is ready to assume Michael Jordan’s throne. Please. Jordan’s successor hasn’t been born yet; in fact, his parents probably haven’t met.”

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Add Jordan: “Coach Phil Jackson didn’t hang around to talk after Jordan’s (retirement) announcement, and it was no wonder: He was probably buried in film, having to work for a living now.”

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Trivia time: What is the UCLA football record for most points in a game?

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Inflation: Steve Guttman, president of the New York Jets, watches the money games in all sports.

“Can you imagine the Charlotte Hornets giving an $84-million contract to Larry Johnson?” Guttman told the New York Times.

“That $84 million equaled what the NFL’s entire payroll was when I joined the Jets in 1977. The Jets’ payroll was under $3 million.”

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Scolding: Jim Fregosi, manager of the Philadelphia Phillies, recalling his first trip as Angel manager in 1978:

“We were in Oakland and there was some guy behind the dugout who was on me all the time. Finally, in the third game I went to see what the hell he wanted. It was my father.”

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Watergate revisited: From Tom Weir of USA Today: “As the wait goes on to see whether World Boxing Council President Jose Sulaiman has the guts to release the still-missing scorecards from the bogus Pernell Whitaker-Julie Cesar Chavez draw, somebody please check one thing. Is his secretary named Rosemary Woods?”

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Vanishing breed: From Dave Kindred of the Sporting News: “Denver linebacker Karl Mecklenburg hates field goals. He says get rid of kickers and leave football to real men.

“This from a guy who plays half the game, if that. Pro football’s last real man was Chuck Bednarik.”

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Say what? Bobby Cox, manager of the Atlanta Braves, said Otis Nixon and Devon White are the two best center fielders he has ever seen.

Hey, Bobby, did you ever get a glimpse of Willie Mays?

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Bed check: Alexandre Daigle, the 18-year-old rookie center of the NHL Ottawa Senators, recently appeared in an advertisement wearing a female nurse’s uniform, complete with white nylons.

Management wasn’t amused.

“We’ll be keeping a lid on everything he does now that the season has started,” Ottawa General Manager Randy Sexton said.

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Trivia answer: Seventy-two, in a shutout of Stanford in 1954.

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Quotebook: Dan Bickley of the Chicago Sun-Times on the assignment of listing the 10 greatest memories of Michael Jordan: “Try standing in the Louvre and picking out your favorite paintings.”