San Francisco Left to Wonder What Whine Goes With Crow

Under the headline “Lasorda Made a Fool of Himself,” San Francisco Examiner columnist Art Spander berates the Dodger manager for his revenge-seeking motives against the Giants.

“Lasorda’s whiny outburst that the (Dodger) victory in the final regular-season game was revenge for heavens knows what, a Giants’ victory 31 years ago? Wellington at Waterloo? The eruption of Vesuvius in 79 AD?

“What did the Giants ever do to Lasorda? Keep him from the Parmesan cheese grinder at Fior d’ Italia?”

Trivia time: Who holds the NFL record for a player with most seasons with one team?

Situation normal: First baseman Dick Stuart, known as “Dr. Strangeglove” during his playing days primarily with the Pirates, when asked if he was dizzy after a pitch had struck him: “No more than usual.”

Handy guy: Mike Kiem, a Seattle Seahawk offensive tackle, provided graphic evidence for why he’s a lineman.

Kiem showed up for work with a black eye. He said his wife tossed him the telephone and he missed it.

Bleak future: ESPN’s Joe Theismann on the Washington Redskins, who have a 1-4 record:

“They’ve had injuries, they lost big-play people, they can’t stop the run and only have one genuine quarterback (Mark Rypien) since I’ve got a job and can’t come out of retirement.”

Bah, humbug: Badgermania has gripped Madison, but not everyone in the city is exulting over Wisconsin’s 5-0 record, its best start since 1977.

Richard Askey, a Wisconsin mathematics professor, views big-time college football as a distraction for students, according to Tim Norris of the Milwaukee Journal.

“We do far too much of spectator sports in this country,” Askey said. “I would rather have students riding bicycles, doing intramurals.”

Over and out: From Jackie MacMullan of the Boston Globe: “It’s an unspoken rule that sports teams, no matter how bad, do not admit when their future looks bleak (see New England Patriots). That’s understandable. What kind of person throws in the towel before the season even begins?

“I’ll tell you what kind of person: a sportswriter. Therefore, let me be one of the first to advise you that the 1993-94 Boston Celtics will be lucky to win 35 games.”

Trivia answer: Jim Marshall, 19, with Minnesota, 1961-79.

Quotebook: John Kruk of the Philadelphia Phillies once told a woman: “Lady, I’m not an athlete. I’m a baseball player.”