Now if one of them could channel...

Now if one of them could channel the Mars Explorer . . . A Minneapolis placement service for talk show guests phoned The Times to inquire about Yvonne Smith of La Crescenta, the subject of a recent article. Smith leads a support group for people who believe they’ve been abducted by space aliens.

Bill Arnovich of the placement service asked if Smith was articulate and telegenic. Assured that she was, Arnovich said excitedly that she could rival “the most-sought-after” talk show guest in the nation.

“She could be as hot as the lady who channels Elvis,” he explained.

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A bald assertion?Dwight Palmer of La Mirada says he finds the sign at one local tire shop flat confusing.

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The other freeway ceremony: While politicos and Caltrans folks were attending the opening of the Century Freeway, anti-graffiti vigilante Pete Rosenthal was hanging over the 134 Freeway before a small audience in Glendale.

He isn’t a Caltrans employee. He’s a businessman who formed Volunteers in Pride, a group dedicated to wiping out the unsightly scrawls.

Rosenthal said he pleaded with Caltrans to clean up the sign. When that failed, he decided to do the job himself, while perched on a cherry-picker donated by Acme Rents. It took him 10 minutes.

“We were expecting Caltrans or the police to show up, but they didn’t,” said his wife, Barbara. “I went along in case I had to bail him out of jail.”

A Caltrans spokesman said: “While we appreciate the sentiment, we can’t condone an operation like that because of the safety hazards.” The spokesman said that Caltrans has several crews working full time on graffiti but gives priority to signs that are so blacked out as to be unreadable.

And Caltrans’ job won’t grow any easier with the opening of the 105, virgin territory for vandals.

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One more thing, Caltrans: The Century Freeway gala jammed traffic below on the Long Beach Freeway, where motorists were probably less than delighted to see a Caltrans banner that proclaimed:

“Keep California Moving.”

An international matchup that no one wants to see: A debate over who would win a confrontation between L.A. street gangs and English soccer hooligans broke out during a news conference in Rotterdam, site of World Cup qualifying matches.

It sounded almost chauvinistic.

“The gangs win hands down,” said Donald Burwell, part of a team of U.S. security experts representing the Rose Bowl. “They are much more violent. They do have weaponry. I do not think that the L.A. gangs would be frightened of the English football hooligans.”

But a Rotterdam police spokesman responded: “The point is that the Americans don’t actually know what they are talking about.”

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And torts for dessert?With everyone thinking about lawsuits these days, Roy Harris wasn’t surprised to see a handwritten sign at the Villa Italian restaurant in Culver City that listed the day’s special as linguine with claims .

miscelLAny:

Rose Krupp-Ayala of the American Diabetes Assn. received an apologetic letter from a woman who had recently come across $3 she collected during an ADA bike-a-thon 20 years ago. Krupp-Ayala said the woman, apparently figuring in interest and inflation, enclosed a check for $10.