On GATT, Cherchez les Bucks : The French talk of cultural purity is a smoke screen. Remember, these people have deified Jerry Lewis.

The GATT talks are concluded, and the negotiated package goes to Congress for its approval (or not). And Hollywood is reeling--rightfully so--from the French intransigence that ultimately mugged and rolled the U.S. negotiating team at, literally, the 11th hour. The section of the trade agreement that would have been especially vital to California’s economy, the section dealing with restrictions for American entertainment products and technology, was set aside, to be discussed at a later time (probably concurrent with the freezing of hell) so that the entire trade package would not be torpedoed. The Europeans, led by the French, balked at broadening American entertainment’s entry into the overseas market because the French feared cultural contamination by a potential tsunami of American film, video and television. At least that was the stated reason; culture and commerce are never too far from each other in France, and the French worship no less frequently at the altar of free enterprise than anyone else.

But that argument rings pretty hollow when one walks, say, the streets of Paris. If the French government is worried about the pernicious influence of American culture, shutting out our entertainment products isn’t going to help a whole lot. Here’s a news flash, copains: That particular train has already left the station.

American culture has already been infused into most elements of daily French life, especially in its cities. Young people saunter the streets in blue jeans, their sweat shirts and varsity jackets emblazoned with American icons: The Dodgers, Stanford and Mickey Mouse. They’re shod in motorcycle boots, Keds knockoffs and Topsiders. They drink Coca-Cola and read Jack Kerouac. Many have abandoned the sacrosanct Sunday midmeal, en famille, in favor of

le brunch. They dance to rock and rap (and have perfected their own adaptations of it), sip Bourbon while they’re listening to jazz and drool over vintage Corvettes and Harley-Davidsons.

Refusing to allow additional American products won’t undo any of this, and it’s highly likely that allowance of more won’t take the French any further down the road they’ve already chosen to travel. So the argument for cultural purity is, as Bill and Ted would say, bogus.

Money, however, is another matter. The introduction of myriad American technical innovations, such as pay-per-view, would indeed be felt in the national purse. And of course that is the real reason behind the French willingness to scuttle the entire trade agreement, if need be, to protect their right to collect the total gate for such ventures. The notion of all that lovely money flowing into pockets of les Americains is, apparently, so distressing that the French have decided that, when it comes to the entertainment industry, it’s their way or no way at all.

It’s amazing that a nation that adores Pee Wee Herman and that has given Jerry Lewis the Legion of Honor, its highest national accolade, would agonize over whether the introduction of, say, Al Bundy, is going to destroy the national psyche. But again, this argument isn’t about culture, it’s about money.

Perhaps leaders in the entertainment industry should draw up a little agreement among themselves. American film crews are often restricted from traveling to Europe to work, so the below-the-line staff--the carpenters, lighting and sound people, all the people who physically make the movie possible--are locked out of jobs that could yield dollars that would wing their way back to the United States. Instead, we’re enhancing Europe’s bottom line. What if we put a quota on the European directors, cinematographers, set designers and producers who work here regularly? (Talk about cultural contamination: Would we have been so much worse off if Englishman Adrian Lyne hadn’t been allowed to make “Fatal Attraction”?)

If trade is to become a global meritocracy, let’s truly open up all aspects of the market and let the best products win. Perhaps it will encourage the competition to improve its own output. France gave us quiche; we gave them Mickey Rourke. Who got the short end of the stick in that deal?