Happy Money . . . er,<i> Honey</i> moon, Kids!

Hello, young lovers, we know where you are: Newly married billionaire Bill Gates (of software giant Microsoft) and bride Melinda French have been honeymooning this week in a remote spot some computer hackers probably couldn’t even find: the tiny private Fiji island of Wakaya.

Playing host to the couple is the exclusive Wakaya Club resort, which charges $875 per couple per day.

For that, the pair gets a 1,500-square-foot cottage and three squares a day (we’d guess snacks, too), plus all the golf, scuba diving, snorkeling, tennis and speed boating they can cram into a week.

So what have the newlyweds been up to? With that kind of money, anything they want.

Adding Kick: What was so riveting at the Chanel cosmetics counter, we wondered as we walked through the doors of Bullock’s Century City. Two saleswomen stood in front of the counter, their eyes fixed on a small television set.

Were they watching a demonstration of a miracle cream that will simultaneously plump up crow’s-feet and turn your cellulite into taut muscle? A new lipstick that will give you an instant Claudia Schiffer pout? No, it was . . .

“A Bruce Lee movie,” said one of the saleswomen, smiling. “We had a Fred Astaire movie on before, but we thought we’d put this on for a little variety.”

Let’s see . . . Bruce Lee, Chanel cosmetics . . . yeah, we see a connection, sure.

Wordy Workout: Here are popular exercises we’ve noticed lately at some L.A. gyms: whining and arguing with trainers. Maybe it burns calories, who knows?

A recent example: “Look,” said a young woman slumped against the wall, “you have to take it really easy on me right now. . . . “

“Well you have to take it easy on me,” her trainer barked back. “You can’t do this to me, you can’t miss four appointments in row.”

Another trainer was lecturing his client on the importance of good nutrition. The client, who had a substantial girth, replied, “I swear to God, all I have in the morning is a bagel, that’s all I have. Then I have a tuna melt for lunch . . . but I don’t eat all the fries.”

--COMPILED BY THE SOCIAL CLIMES STAFF