Will Buddy’s Dome Become Joe’s Personal House of Pain?

Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post has this warning to Joe Montana when the Kansas City Chiefs play the Houston Oilers in the Astrodome on Sunday:

“This is ‘Earth To . . . ‘ Buddy Ryan we’re talking about. Do you actually think Buddy is going to let Joe Montana beat him? If Buddy punched out his own coach, what do you think he’d do to Montana? Buddy’s going to put a bounty on Montana. Did you see what the Giants did to the punk doofus McMahon on Sunday--when they left him twitching on the turf, and the trainer came out and appeared to be delivering the last rites? Buddy was taking notes on that.

“Buddy is way out of control. Buddy is so far over the line he needs a cab to get back.”

Add Kornheiser: “Buddy has been beaten by Montana before: In 1984, when Buddy was the defensive coordinator for Da Bears, Montana came into Soldier Field in the playoffs and blanked them, 23-0. And in 1989, when Buddy was coaching the Eagles, Montana came into Veterans Stadium and threw five touchdown passes--four in the last quarter!--and beat Buddy, 38-28. Buddy is going to run guys at Montana the way they run bulls through Pamplona.”

Trivia time: Who was Lord Stanley, who originated the Stanley Cup in 1893?

Open game: The Raiders advancing in the playoffs might be good news for the city of Los Angeles, but the attention the team has brought to the area surrounding the Coliseum has been nothing but negative. This latest criticism is from C.W. Nevius of the San Francisco Chronicle, who writes: “It was just 10 years ago that the Coliseum was being spruced up to showcase 100 white grand pianos for the opening ceremony of the 1984 Summer Olympics.

“Now it looks like a good spot for a guy with a harmonica and tin cup.”

More bad news for L.A.: The Toronto Sun recently conducted its sixth annual talent poll, ranking the NHL’s top players and executives. Toronto’s Cliff Fletcher was rated the NHL’s No. 1 general manager with a three-way tie for second place between Florida’s Bob Clarke, Boston’s Harry Sinden and the Rangers’ Neil Smith.

And the worst? A tie between the Kings’ Nick Beverley and Winnipeg’s Mike Smith.

It’s in the tie: The five-member panel also assessed the NHL’s top-dressed coaches, in order of finish: Pat Burns (Toronto), Glen Sather (Edmonton), Mike Keenan (Rangers), Pat Quinn (Vancouver), Barry Melrose (Kings), Rick Bowness (Ottawa) and Ron Wilson (Anaheim).

Not knuckling under: Former major leaguer Phil Niekro had visions of Tom Hanks when he was approached to manage a women’s baseball team recently. But Niekro says his team, the Colorado Silver Bullets, will differ greatly from the team that Hanks managed in the movie, “A League of Their Own.”

Niekro’s team will play against Class-A men’s minor league teams in Knoxville, Tenn. Nevertheless Niekro is undaunted by skepticism, and guarantees that his team “will be more competitive than a lot of people think they will be.”

Trivia answer: He was governor general of Canada at the time, according to the Amateur Athletic Foundation.

Quotebook: Minnesota Twin Manager Tom Kelly, listing two attributes of pitcher Keith Garagozzo, whom the Twins drafted from the New York Yankees’ organization: “He’s left-handed and he’s breathing.”