COMMENTARY : A Wish: Get Back Again Joe

We’re all wishing for the same Super Bowl, aren’t we? We all want to see Joe Montana get a shot at the 49ers, because that would be poetic justice. Montana vs. Steve Young. Montana vs. Eddie DeBartolo. Montana vs. the team that cut him loose. Old Joe, like Gary Cooper in “High Noon,” keeping his appointment with destiny one last time.

Can you imagine the thrill of seeing Montana in another Super Bowl, the anticipation of him getting the ball, say, down by six points with two minutes to play, and having to cover 80 yards against his dear friends and former teammates? Wouldn’t that bring you to your feet?

Isn’t that better than watching--a “directional punter”?

(What is Madden’s preoccupation with directional punting? He spent more time on directional punting in this one Giants game than Les Aspin spent on Mogadishu. Meanwhile, Mike Horan, Mr. Directional Punter himself, got a punt blocked by his teammate’s keister! Does that make him a “re-directional punter”? Enough already with directional punting. If you want to punt the ball to the sideline, for heaven’s sake, just turn and face the sideline.)

Unfortunately, Kansas City has to go through Houston and Buddy Ryan on Sunday.

This is not the defensive genius in Detroit who allowed Sterling Sharpe, the only offensive weapon the Packers have, to beat him in the last minute! Can you believe that? Here is Sharpe, who already has two TD catches, and he’s wide open in the end zone! Forget “nickel” and “dime” packages, if you’re Detroit you’ve got to put a “dollar” package out there--10 guys on Sharpe, and one guy rushing Brett Favre. Detroit should have been on Sharpe like cream gravy. No, that is not what Joe Montana is going to see Sunday.

This is “Earth To . . . “ Buddy Ryan we’re talking about. Do you actually think Buddy is going to let Joe Montana beat him? If Buddy punched out his own coach, what do you think he’d do to Montana? Buddy’s going to put a bounty on Montana. Did you see what the Giants did to the punk doofus McMahon on Sunday--when they left him twitching on the turf, and the trainer came out and appeared to be delivering the last rites? Buddy was taking notes on that.

Buddy is way out of control. Buddy is so far over the line he needs a cab to get back. Not only did he throw a punch at Kevin Gilbride, but over the weekend he called him a “wimp,” and said Gilbride “should be selling insurance.” How does that work at team meetings?

Buddy has been beaten by Montana before: In 1984, when Buddy was the defensive coordinator for Da Bears, Montana came into Soldier Field in the playoffs, and blanked them 23-0. And in 1989, when Buddy was coaching the Eagles, Montana came into Veterans Stadium and threw five touchdown passes--four in the last quarter!--and beat Buddy, 38-28. Buddy is going to run guys at Montana the way they run bulls through Pamplona. He’ll run Willie Horton at him if he has to.

By the way, have I mentioned how great the games were this weekend? All four. Fabulous. And you know who else was fabulous? Joe Gibbs. I’m sitting there watching a guy who looks like the Coach “Joe” I knew, but certainly doesn’t sound like the Coach “Joe” I knew. Nope, that “Joe” was a sphinx. You couldn’t get a decent quote out of him; that “Joe” had the personality of Cup-A-Soup. This “Joe”--wow, what did he do, take a seminar with Morey Amsterdam? Story after story. Funny, engaging, congenial.

Oh, remember a few weeks ago when every game ended 3-2, and people were saying the game had been turned over to field goal kickers, and defenses were smothering offenses, and the NFL was ruined, finished, kaput? Well, how do those morons feel now seeing feverish playoff games like these: 42-24, 28-24, 27-24.