Quake News Rob You of Faves? You Can Cope : Television: Make videocassettes part of your survival kit. Invite the neighbors over to share treasured moments in anchoring. Memorize those timeless ‘90210’ episodes . . . .

Coping With the Quake II . . .

Disasters always happen to the next guy. You never think about them happening to you. As this week’s devastating quake has affirmed, however, they do happen to you, and with potentially dire consequences.

The two most likely scenarios:

* An earthquake knocks TV off the air in your area.

* TV coverage of an earthquake preempts your favorite programs.

Either scenario can cause severe discomfort, to say nothing of psychological damage. How to cope and prepare for the future?

One solution is to make this a recovery that meets not only your own needs but also those of the community, by bringing everyone together. Gather your neighbors, for example, so that all of you can discuss favorite episodes of your favorite shows. Call it community commiseration.

Yes, it was tough missing Monday night’s “Blossom” on NBC and “Dave’s World” on CBS, and so on and so on. Just as painful is an evening without “A Current Affair” on KTTV-TV Channel 11. Yet reminiscing about past episodes will relieve the ache:

*

“Remember the time Will’s fraternity brothers left him drunk in a haunted cemetery on NBC’s ‘Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’? And NBC’s ‘Unsolved Mysteries’--the health care worker who was wanted for tampering with medication?”

Well, you get the idea.

In addition, sure, you need your flashlights and portable radios with extra batteries, your food, clothing, blankets and other emergency items. But what good is an earthquake kit without videotape cassettes of your favorite TV shows?

The scheduled guest on today’s “Sally Jessy Raphael” on KNBC-TV Channel 4--assuming there’s no quake coverage--is lovable Richard Simmons. A classic. Tape it! Coming Thursday on KCAL-TV Channel 9’s “Maury Povich,” gay teens. Scintillating. Tape it! You must survive.

Sure, you ask, but what happens when disaster reporting distorts the way your favorite station covers the news? Easy. Do your own retrospective. If Channel 4’s news teases are what you’re missing, for example, gather some of your neighbors in a room and have them shout: “BOMBSHELL!”

You’ll prize the moment forever.

Or perhaps you’re suffering withdrawal from missing the jocularity of the morning news on KTLA-TV Channel 5. Once more, the better your memory, the better your therapy. Get those neighbors together again, and this time hash over your favorite morning news moments, the time Sam gave Carlos a hotfoot, and so on and so on. It’ll lift your spirits.

*

You and your neighbors can even make it into a game by coming up with your own post-quake scenarios for Channel 5’s morning news: Barbara hits Carlos in the face with a cream pie. Carlos sticks chewing gum in Barbara’s hair.

The TV that viewers probably have missed most, though, are those daytime talk shows that keep us all abreast of important issues. Again, nothing is more healthy than channeling this deep longing into something productive for the community, a game in which each neighbor suggests his or her own earthquake-related topic for Sally, Geraldo, Phil or whomever:

Transsexual looters . . . . Firemen who sleep with their mothers-in-law . . . . Skinhead children of seismologists . . . . Reporters who rob.

In the event of a total power outage, we all can be inspired by Ray Bradbury’s futuristic “Fahrenheit 451,” whose most-admirable characters fight book burning by committing to memory great works of literature and philosophy such as Plato’s “Republic” and Jonathan Swift’s “Gulliver’s Travels,” in effect becoming the authors’ surrogates by speaking their words that are no longer in print.

It’s an idea that should be applied to television.

With quake experts predicting that The Big One is yet to come, there’s no time to spare. Tonight on ABC’s “George,” for example, George and Juanita leave the kids with the housekeeper for the evening. Memorize it. On Fox’s “Beverly Hills, 90210,” Brandon tutors a basketball star, Andrea and Dan mull telling everyone about their relationship, Stuart’s parents invite over Jim and Cindy. Memorize it, and spread the word to your neighbors.

Just think of the potential--a neighborhood mentally preserving an entire prime-time schedule in case The Big One does indeed arrive some day.

Finally, if it happens that you’re a TV critic for the Los Angeles Times and a quake knocks over all of your sets and you have to write a column anyway, do what you always do. Make it up.