For Fedorov, MVP Is Way to Spell Name

A ll the best, and some of the worst, from the first half of this new-and-expanded hockey season, in less time than it takes to explain the neutral-zone trap . . .

USA Today Still Misspells His Name, But He No Longer Cares: Detroit center Sergei Fedorov--not Federov --as Friday’s USA Today headline had it--has a chance to become the first European to win the NHL’s most valuable player award. So far, it’s been a stupendous season for the fourth-year pro from Pskov, Russia--32 goals, 77 points and a pay raise from $295,000 to $3 million.

‘He Would’ve Been Our Fourth Defenseman,’ Barry Melrose Said, But That Was Back In July: From Oct. 6 on, Marty McSorley’s alleged value to the Kings has soared like a rocket, with his departure being blamed for everything that ails the team, from lack of toughness, to erratic defense, to bad food on the team charter. With Pittsburgh, McSorley had three goals and 12 assists in his first 36 games, yet he’s the only thing separating the Kings from a 45-0-0 start.

Even Springsteen’s Singing Songs About Philadelphia Now: They have the third-best record in the league. They have more victories than the Pittsburgh Penguins, the Montreal Canadiens and the Calgary Flames. They rank third in the league in fewest goals allowed. They are the New Jersey Devils. Now name three of their players.

We’ll Believe It When We See It: The New York Rangers begin the second half with 63 points, tied with Toronto for most in the league, prompting “This is the year” speculation for, oh, the 54th time since the Rangers last won the Cup.

Not What The Penguins Were Hoping For: Mario Lemieux leads the league in one department. Games Missed, 41.

Maybe Michael Jordan Would Help: The Chicago Blackhawks have scored fewer goals than the Mighty Ducks, averaging 2.98 per game.

How About Tugnutt For That Russian Guy, What’s His Name, You Know, USA Today Wrote About Him?: What’s a team with Fedorov, Steve Yzerman, Paul Coffey, Ray Sheppard, Dino Ciccarelli, Nicklas Lidstrom and Keith Primeau doing in second place in the Central Division, six points out at the All-Star break? It’s called goaltending, and Detroit has yet to find anything close to it, even though Coach Scotty Bowman keeps trotting candidates out there--Tim Cheveldae, Chris Osgood, Vincent Riendeau, Peter Ing. As Red Wing GM Bryan Murray poses trade possibilities by the hour, Detroit writers have taken to summarizing the situation this way: “Osgood and no good.”

Then Again, Dale Hunter Can Out-Tackle Anyone On The Redskins: On a lark, Washington Redskins kicker Chip Lohmiller was invited to participate in the Washington Capitals’ team skills competition--and Lohmiller won the hardest slap shot contest. It should be noted that NHL slap shot champion Al Iafrate was injured at the time, but that didn’t stop the other Capitals from slinking off the ice in embarrassment.

‘Raspberry Bure’ Would Also Help: The Mighty Ducks’ Jekyll/Hyde first half--12 victories on the road, only six at home--has prompted much in-depth analysis (Is it the weather? The ice? The Decoys?), plus the occasional joke. Q: What do Prince and the Mighty Ducks have in common? A: Both can only play in purple.

Actually, They’ve Been Leaving, One By One, For Years Now: Gretzky’s gone, Messier’s gone, Coffey’s gone, Kurri’s gone, Anderson’s gone, Fuhr’s gone, Tikkanen’s gone, Simpson’s gone, Lowe’s gone, but the Edmonton Oilers are staying put, owner Peter Pocklington recently announced. The city of Edmonton can scarcely contain itself.

They Can’t Wait For Expansion Into San Diego, Portland and Seattle: The San Jose Sharks are 5-0 against the Mighty Ducks, 10-21-10 against the rest of the league.

Jordan Can’t Hit Major League Pitching, But What About Gretzky?: On Dec. 28 against Vancouver, Gretzky scored the goal of the year, and maybe the decade, when he swatted at a puck wobbling in mid-air, at least three feet off the ground, and drilled a line drive over the right shoulder of a stunned Kirk McLean, the Canuck goaltender that night. Videotape of the play was sent to all the networks, as well as Vero Beach, where Darryl Strawberry will soon be studying it.

Timing Is Everything I: With no pro football to televise in 1994, CBS suddenly has much air time available for hockey. Unfortunately for the NHL, the league signed a five-year working agreement with ESPN in 1992.

Timing Is Everything II: Under last season’s playoff format, where the top four teams in each division advanced, the Mighty Ducks could qualify simply by finishing ahead of Edmonton and San Jose. Under the new format, where the top eight teams in the conference qualify, the Ducks must now beat out Edmonton, San Jose, Winnipeg and the Kings.

At Least Dixon Ward Has Been A Better Replacement Than Jay Leno: Like Johnny, Jimmy Carson retired in Los Angeles. Unlike Johnny, Jimmy Carson is 25 years old, with 2 1/2 years remaining on a $3-million contract, so the Kings had to do something with him. Finally, in late December, Mr. Invisible was traded to Vancouver, Carson’s fifth team since 1988.

Telegram For The Ottawa Senators. Stop. Florida Already Has Top Pick In Upcoming Draft. Stop. No Sense Tanking Any More Games. Stop. So Please. Stop.: Despite the lack of incentive, despite the presence of rookie-of-the-year candidates Alexei Yashin and Alexandre Daigle, the Senators once again have the league’s worst record at 8-35-5. To ensure that they keep it, the Senators traded 29-goal scorer Bob Kudelski to Florida for two warm bodies, a fourth-round pick and a sixth-round pick.

Next, Stu Grimson Plays Hamlet On Masterpiece Theatre: The New Yorker devoted eight pages and 6,200 words in its Jan. 24, 1994 edition to a profile on the Mighty Ducks.

That’s Dr. Kasatonov, of the Cal Tech Seismology Laboratory, To You: In that New Yorker piece, Duck defenseman Alexei Kasatonov foreshadows last Monday’s earthquake when he tells writer Charles McGrath that life in Orange County occasionally troubles him. “Sometimes is hot weather,” Kasatonov says, “sometimes is fire, sometimes earth is moving. Is California.”