He’s Already a Master of $45-Million Excuse

The stereotype of the overpaid, ungrateful pro athlete appeared to have been taken to the next level this week by Juan Gonzalez, recently given a $45.45-million contract by his employer, the Texas Rangers.

A few days after signing the contract, Gonzalez didn’t show up at the Rangers’ awards banquet, where he was to have received his team’s player-of-the-year award.

Said Hall of Famer Reggie Jackson, who was to have presented the award: “Give me the $45 million and I’ll stay here all week.”

Club President Tom Schieffer said: “We’re disappointed the fans won’t have a chance to congratulate him. Leadership is by example. To be a leader, you need to show leadership.”

The club located Gonzalez at his Puerto Rico home. He said a traffic jam caused him to miss his flight.

“I am very sorry that I did not make it to Arlington, and I apologize to the Rangers organization, to Reggie Jackson, to Tony Perez, to my teammates, and most of all, to all the fans,” he said.

Trivia time: Name any of the seven athletes who have been awarded the Medal of Freedom, America’s highest civilian honor.

Quakery: Is this an indicator of the level of interest in Southern California major league baseball?

The Rancho Cucamonga Quakes of the Class-A California League held their second annual Winter Warm-up dinner in Ontario recently and drew a crowd of 600.

The Los Angeles/Anaheim Chapter of the Baseball Writers Assn. of America called off its off-season dinner this year.

Reason: Lack of interest.

Add Quakes: The minor league team had one of the worst records in baseball but drew 331,000 fans, breaking the old California League record by 110,000. The team sold out 46 of its 68 home games and generated $500,000 in revenue from sales of Quake caps alone.

The team, an affiliate of the San Diego Padres, plays in a new 5,100-seat stadium named the Epicenter, has a mascot named Tremor and sends out a newsletter called The Rumblings. It outdrew 11 of the triple-A teams in the country.

Play it again: Tragic but spectacular accidents, such as the one that killed Austrian skier Ulrike Maier, are a part of the sport’s attraction, the defending Olympic men’s downhill champion said.

“What do people watch on television?” Austrian Patrick Ortlieb asked. “The most spectacular accidents are repeated five times in a tape loop.”

Such was the case with the Jan. 29 death of Maier, killed in a downhill race in Germany. Some critics charge that the International Ski Federation has approved courses that are too dangerous. But Ortlieb said this is necessary to hold the public’s attention, adding: “In boxing they show the KO, in skiing the accidents. The fans want it, and sports needs fans. Nothing dangerous happens in Ping-Pong, but no one’s interested in it, either.”

Lighten up, Avery: Phil Jackman of the Baltimore Sun, commenting on TonyaGate, recalled the famous 1936 incident in which U.S. Olympic swimmer Eleanor Holm drank champagne on the Olympic team’s ocean voyage to Berlin.

“The old despot, Avery Brundage, tossed her off the team without so much as a how-do-you-do,” Jackman wrote.

Uncle Milty denies all: Comic Milton Berle: “Buddy Hackett is telling everybody that George Burns got whacked on the knee with a metal baton the other day and that the cops are investigating me.”

Trivia answer: Bob Kiphuth, Jesse Owens, Joe DiMaggio, Paul (Bear) Bryant, Jackie Robinson, Earl (Red) Blaik, Ted Williams.

Quotebook: Bob Miller, the morning host on KEX-AM in Portland: “The president just released his budget, all these people were just killed in Bosnia, and Connie Chung is still outside the ice rink?”