Why the quake was no mere 6.6:...

Why the quake was no mere 6.6: Jim White of Los Osos sent along some shocking new evidence of how much the earth shifted Jan. 17. It’s a map from a Bay Area newspaper, which relocated L.A. in Northern California (call it the Northland, for short).

Imagine the delight of disgruntled L.A. residents who had been planning to move up there, anyway.

No doubt it was this map that prompted the upgrading of the quake to 6.7 by seismic experts at Caltech and 6.8 by their counterparts in Golden, Colo.

The temblor’s fault line seems to have run through the middle of Death Valley and Paso Robles, splitting both. The new town of Death is now a beach resort as is Las Vegas, whose golf courses will have some major new sand traps.

You won’t be hearing any more bragging by San Diegans about their climate, inasmuch as they now inhabit north-central California. And San Francisco seems to have left the state altogether. When L.A. moved in, it must have been too much to bear.

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Oh, Pahrump! We weren’t surprised to receive a copy of Eden Seeker’s Catalogue in the mail after the quake.

The newspaper is put out by Greener Pastures Institute, whose founder--Bill Seavey--lives in Pahrump, Nev. Seavey, whose phone number says it all--1-800-OUT OF LA--is one of many entrepreneurs seeking to capitalize on the disenchantment of Southern Californians. He frequently holds $75-per-person seminars in L.A.

Obviously, Seavey hadn’t heard about L.A.’s move into Northern California.

He won’t be the only disappointed merchant in what the New Republic’s Susan Ellicott called the “country-dreamer genre.” Others include:

* Bill Kaysing of Soquel (near Santa Cruz), a former Canoga Park-ite, who puts out an “Escape the Rat Race” newsletter that costs $25 per issue.

* Tom Evons of Bend, Ore., who holds “Escape from L.A.” seminars for $29 per dreamer.

* Real estate agent David T. Paul, who recorded the cassette ($7), “How to Sell Your Southern California Property When No One’s Biting.”

* And Constance See, a psychic on an island off the state of Washington, whose business, “City Seekers,” can find the ideal town for your aura for $45. Just not on her island, which she won’t identify.

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A rum fate: A newsletter called The Beam recalls that San Pedro suffered little damage in the 1971 Sylmar quake, with the exception of a liquor store that went up in flames. The fire was apparently fueled by several broken 151-proof rum bottles.

“Which all goes to show,” The Beam said, “when either you--or Mother Nature--messes around with that high proof stuff, there’s bound to be trouble.” Oh, yes--The Beam is the newsletter for San Pedro’s Beacon Hill alcohol rehabilitation facility.

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A warning to other freeway hot-doggers: A colleague relays the sighting of a California Highway Patrol officer on the Harbor Freeway, writing a ticket to an Oscar Mayer Wienermobile.

miscelLAny:

The Alhambra Chamber of Commerce announced that the city is throwing one of the country’s biggest Chinese New Year celebrations today. Grand marshal: Why, actor Elliott Gould, of course.