It’s the Praying, Stupid

It was a day like any other. We forgot to shave one leg in the shower. We brushed our teeth with the kids’ Sparkle Fun Gel. We explained to a crabby kid why jumping up and down on Mommy’s stapler would shorten its life.

How, we wondered, do the Supermodel Moms do it? The producers of “Rolonda” must have read our mind. The talk-show host this week grilled a quartet of Supermodels-Turned-Supermoms: Kim Alexis, Kelly Emberg, Karen Alexander and Linda Tonge.

How do you manage to stay so beautiful after having kids?

Personal trainers? Expensive in-home gyms? Great genetic material?

No, you dummies. Moral superiority.

“We’re Christians and we pray a lot,” said Alexis, large with child No. 2.

Then there’s all us Little People.

“It’s almost like we have a responsibility to the public to maintain a certain image--so they can strive toward that,” explained Alexis, clearly the ringleader.

OK, so Monday, we’re bleaching our hair and capping all our teeth. Tuesday, we’ll cut out sugar and alcohol. By Wednesday, we’ll have to start praying.

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We’d Rather Just Leave a Tip: How would you like to be hugged by “The Healer Who Hugs Diana”? That’s what the London Daily Mail calls Chryssie Fitzgerald, whose Knightsbridge clinic Princess Di pops into every few weeks for what’s described as a “two-hour attack on physical and mental stress.”

Diana’s treatment involves so-called Flower Remedies. Concentrated essences are diluted with water, dropped on the tongue or massaged into the body. A foot massage unblocks energy channels. Colonic hydrotherapy unblocks the rest. Fitzgerald ends the session with an embrace--hence the tabloid-given moniker.

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Wanna Thank Your Mother for a Butt Like That: With Jane Fonda now focusing on the geriatric set (in the softest-focus infomercial ever filmed), there’s room for young blood in the field of exercise videos. Enter Salt-N-Pepa, the female rap trio that’s been strutting its stuff in such sexy music videos as “Shoop” and “Whatta Man.”

All three--Salt, Pepa and DJ Spinderella--have slimmed down and reshaped themselves after recent pregnancies. They begin shooting their “Push It” exercise video in May, and it’ll be in stores by October. Don’t be surprised if others in the hip-hop world make guest appearances. Pepa, after all, is dating Naughty by Nature’s Treach.

Before all this comes to pass, you can see how fit the trio is in upcoming issues of Entertainment Weekly, where they’re wearing CK fatigues, and Us, where they’re looking great in Todd Oldham’s tap pants and thigh-high boots.

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Getting Naked for Charity: We can forbid Mr. Inside Out from bringing home Playboy magazine. We have no such control over our brilliant-but-misguided girlfriend. Good thing. Otherwise we’d have missed seeing shoe maker Libby Edelman--the Libby in Sam & Libby--cavorting on the beach without so much as an espadrille between her and the camera lens. But it’s cool. Like the nude models in the anti-fur campaign by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (Kim Basinger’s billboard was unveiled Monday in New York), Edelman’s bare-all is for a good cause. Playboy donated $100,000 to the American Foundation for AIDS Research to be first to publish fashion photographer Michael Comte’s suggestive black and white photos of Edelman, Shannen Doherty, Sonia Braga, Carla Bruni and Mimi Rogers. “A Safe Sex Pictorial,” Playboy calls it. Seeing these gals topless made us feel very safe indeed.

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What’s Abstinence Got to Do With It?: For those who can’t get enough vintage clothing, an L.A. company is reviving an age-old accessory: the chastity belt. Chastity Inc. claims its Fashion Accessory Belt “is designed to address today’s styles and sensibilities.”

But not in a very serious way, we’re afraid. Although the belts come with lock and key, “it’s all in fun as the belts are easily removed without the keys.” Ah, a politically correct chastity belt!

Clearly, though, we’ve missed the point completely. Turns out these belts have a higher calling. “Our fashionable society will appreciate an accessory that opens the door to interesting conversation that reflects today’s concerns.” Hey, is that a chastity belt you’re wearing or are you just glad to see me?

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Post-Traumatic Tress Syndrome: Hair oilier than usual? You can blame it on the earthquake. So says Bernard Virginie, technical director of the Parisian diagnostic hair-care firm J.F. Lazartigue. After recently analyzing strands of L.A. women under a Microviewer at the company’s Rodeo Drive salon this week, “We saw a lot of hair that was weak and greasy.” Quake-related stress may have cranked up oil production, he theorized.

Lazartigue treatment products are meant for home hair-care enthusiasts, and items are 20% off through February. But you can have the stuff applied in a salon setting, too.

Employees of the Beverly Hills salon Cristophe are being trained this week under the watchful eye of Jean-Francois Lazartigue himself. They will also have a Microviewer on hand to show you your very own hair follicles--up close and personal. Sounds terrifying.