Was He on the Grassy Knoll?

It may take lot of blood, sweat and tears to buy into this conspiracy theory.

Add to the list of weird historical theories a new one: that the late British Prime Minister Winston Churchill “played a significant role” in the stock market crash of 1929.

Exactly what role isn’t clear, but that’s what promoters of the new book “The Greatest Story Never Told” are saying as they send out promotional materials claiming to show Churchill and his brother met for nearly two months with top U.S. bankers, business leaders and key government officials in the weeks leading up to the crash.

If that isn’t enough, the promoters also claim there was “a private Fifth Avenue gala banquet in Churchill’s honor the night of the crash in 1929” just before Churchill and his brother left to return to England.

Chicago author Pat Riott is quoted as saying that before he wrote the book, “2 + 2 was never adding up to 4.” For Riott, it has added up to about 25,000 books sold so far, according to his publisher.

Ecologically Incorrect

The Simple footwear catalogue offers a welcome change for anyone weary of self-righteous environmental plugs companies give themselves whenever they use recycled paper.

Simple, part of Deckers Outdoor Corp. in Carpinteria, Calif., includes the following message on its catalogue:

“Absolutely no recycled paper was used for this catalogue. It is printed on paper made from really young naive trees, cut down in their prime by dull, smog producing chain saws. Subsequently much of the rain forest was destroyed and ultimately the ozone hole has grown into a vast gaping chasm.” (Simple also admits that it’s all a joke.)

Deckers President Doug Otto says the message was written by Eric Meyer, Simple’s founder and president.

Otto describes Meyer as “anti-hype.” Otto said Meyer once ran a print advertisement for his products using copy that read “blah, blah, blah.”

$leep Aid

Yet another post-earthquake product promotion comes from Washington state “relaxation therapist” Caroline M. Sutherland.

Saying she’s concerned about what she calls “aftershock insomnia,” Sutherland is promoting her line of audiotapes she says helps children relax and sleep.

Sutherland calls then “positivity tapes.”

The negative impact on one’s wallet is $10 per cassette, or $19.95 for a tape with a doll.

Briefly . . .

The recreation industry’s trade group quotes the head of a firm that tracks cultural trends as saying RVs offer “the perfect answer for many baby boomers who are reprioritizing their values in midlife.” . . . That’s synergy for you: Pictured on the cover of the new Fortune magazine--as part of a story on “America’s smartest young entrepreneurs”--is Trip Hawkins of 3DO, an electronic game maker bankrolled in part by Fortune parent Time Warner. . . . An Illinois company is selling a mask replica of Michelangelo’s David for $107.50 to celebrate the artist’s birthday.