Pets’ Peeves : Dognapers. Co-ops. Sirens. Have dogs and their owners bitten off more than they can chew in the Big Apple?

Archeologists have traced the unique bond between man and dog, going back more than 10,000 years. But when current civilization is dug up and studied, they may decide that New York was one tough place to be a dog.

Perhaps in no other city in the nation do urban pressures collide with such force on man and beast. The pace and difficulty of daily living, plus the closeness of life in many apartment buildings, can turn mere annoyances into major traumas. Ordinary rituals taken for granted elsewhere can assume new dimensions, magnifying behavior until neurosis walks at both ends of the leash.

In some drug-infested neighborhoods, dog owners have to pry crack vials from their pets’ mouths. In other places, dogs must dodge speeding delivery bicyclists on sidewalks and deal with over-friendly strangers who can turn a simple stroll into an emotionally charged obstacle course.

In some co-op apartment buildings, misbehaving dogs can be more than a nuisance--they can be an economic hardship.

How hard is it to be a dog in New York? It can be a struggle.

Dog Vs. Machine

Each day, a Labrador retriever mix climbed onto the furniture the moment his businessman-owner left for the office. Finally, the owner hit upon a scheme: He turned up the volume on his answering machine and telephoned home several times. “Get off! Get off!” he shouted.

After a few calls, the dog got off the sofa--and chewed up the answering machine.

An elderly woman lived with her dog in a large apartment building. Her neighbor began complaining that the dog barked all day. Desperate when an eviction notice arrived, she hired a trainer, but he found a silent pet. Puzzled, the trainer planted a tape recorder in the room and left it with the dog. When the tape was played back, scratching sounds were heard--outside the front door.

It was the neighbor, who wanted to move into the apartment and was scratching on the door to provoke the pet.

Dog Vs. Sidewalk

Brian Kilcommons, a dog trainer, took an Afghan hound puppy on its first walk in New York. They were soon accosted by a large woman wearing a down coat “who looked like the Pillsbury Dough Boy.”

“She was saying, ‘It’s adorable!’ and homing in on the puppy,” Kilcommons says. “The puppy looked up at this huge thing who was gushing these loud noises--reaching for it--put its ears up, backed up and thought, ‘It is going to eat me!’

“My job is to back people like that off, saying, ‘It is his first day out. I think he is a little bit frightened. Why don’t you just kneel down and let the puppy come to you?’ When that was done . . . the puppy had a pleasurable experience.”

Ed Beckmann, owner of one of the city’s largest dog-training schools, observes: “New York is a special environment, full of pleasure but also full of strain. A dog can soothe the craziness.”

Dog Vs. Sidewalk II

“Walking the dog is a major deal,” says Elizabeth Elman, an interior designer who bought her black cocker spaniel, Velvet, in the suburbs.

“There was a lot of adjusting for the dog. All of a sudden you deal with the honking of horns. Eleven people are on the sidewalk. There are 10 different dogs sniffing. It’s kiss, kiss, kiss every dog. It’s not just you go out and walk your dog in 10 minutes. It becomes a whole production.”

Dog Vs. Nature’s Call

Horns, sirens and wailing auto alarms often make it a noisy production. One golden retriever in Manhattan became so frightened when motorcyclists attending drug rehabilitation sessions in a nearby church emerged and roared by, she just stood and shook in fear.

After trial and error, the retriever finally found a quiet alley on a side street more to her liking.

Dog Vs. Dognapers

Many owners think twice about leaving their pets tied up outside stores even for an instant. The fear: dognaping.

“Addicts are grabbing dogs that are tied to fire hydrants when someone goes in for a bagel or something,” says Dr. Mike Marder, a veterinarian in practice in Manhattan for almost 30 years.

“They try to get some sort of ransom or sell the animals. I have had clients bring me animals they bought from street people. . . . We attempt to find owners if there are any tags. But it is mostly a matter of trying to find a foster home.”

Dog Vs. Co-op Board

In Manhattan, a pet with poor manners can cause the board of directors of some posh cooperative apartment houses to reject an applicant seeking to buy a home.

In some buildings, dog owners chronically wage war with other apartment dwellers over whether pets can ride passenger elevators. A spot on the carpet of a hallway outside apartment doors can become a cause celebre . When a puppy struggling with housebreaking had an accident just inside the main entrance of a Manhattan co-op, a special committee of irate apartment owners met to inspect the damage.

As they muttered and peered at the wet spot, the building’s superintendent, who owned a dog, diplomatically saved the day. He asked the puppy’s owners to bypass the front door during walks and to use a side staircase and the delivery entrance.

Elevator etiquette can be an art in itself. Riders can stare nastily and complain if a dog doesn’t sit quietly between floors. Like people, pets in the same building have their friends and enemies. A major faux pas is two feuding dogs entering the elevator at the same time. The result often is a hair-raising ride.

Dog Vs. Parent

In New York, many working owners worry about leaving a dog home alone all day. For those able to afford it, professional dog walkers provide daily exercise. But guilt accompanies many owners to their jobs. Some people rush home during lunch hour to see Max or Muffie. Others phone their answering machines during the day with such reassuring messages as, “Mommy loves doggie. Daddy loves doggie, too.”

Still other owners record hours of conversation and leave the tape playing when they leave the house or turn on the television or radio to an all-news station.

Despite all the attention, some dogs still suffer separation anxiety.

In a classic case, a cocker spaniel ate his owner’s keys, trapping his master in the apartment because the man had installed a special security lock requiring a key to open the front door from the inside.

Unable to leave for work, the owner phoned trainer Beckmann in a panic. A locksmith was summoned. A veterinarian fished the keys from the spaniel, and Beckmann eventually taught the dog to think solitude was pleasurable.

“We turned it around,” the trainer says. “The only way the dog could get his favorite chew bone was when the owner left the house. The dog couldn’t wait for the owner to leave each day, just as teen-agers often can’t wait for their parents to take off on vacation.”

Dog Vs. Silence

Most dogs eventually end up adjusting to the strains of life in New York. They become relatively blase on busy streets and ignore sirens and other distractions.

“There is no reason a normal, balanced dog that is exposed to all the varieties of life in New York City . . . should not become desensitized,” says Dr. Nicholas Dodman, a professor at the Tufts New England School of Veterinary Medicine who is an expert in urban dog behavior.

“But some city dogs have a hard time in the country. It’s too quiet.”