Parody on Ice

It was only a matter of time, we suppose, before the Tonya Harding-Nancy Kerrigan story made it to the literature rack of the underground. We refer, of course, to the comic book “Whacked! The Adventures of Tonya Harding and Her Pals,” which has been showing up on racks all over town.

This enjoyably mean-spirited, full-color parody chronicles the going-for-the-gold capers of Harding (who sports a “No Comment” tattoo on her shoulder) and her, er, alleged partners in crime, “Ex-husband, current husband and future ex-husband” Jeff Gillooly, doughnut-munching Shawn Eckardt and hit man Shane Stant.

It also contains full-page ads of a chain-smoking Harding hawking such products as Ice Whackies Cereal (“Whack! Smackle! Pop!”), Cheat-o’s (“Leg Smackin’ Good”) and, our favorite, the trademark-protected “Baton’ya.”

While the comic says this is the premiere edition, the publishers don’t list a city, address or phone number for us to find out what they’ll do next (probably trying to keep their kneecaps intact).

Our guess: “Family Values: The Menendezes at Home.”

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Who Says This Generation Can’t Think?: While perusing the announcement bulletin board at a Silver Lake coffeehouse, we noticed among the performance art dates, rock shows and clubs an upcoming lecture that snared our attention with this high-minded query:

“Why Hegel’s Phenomenology ? Why Now?”

Yes, finally, a flyer that seemed to speak our deepest thoughts.

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Not Just Man’s Best Friend: So you think all Fido is good for is fetching your slippers and practicing Stupid Pet Tricks?

Not quite.

Check out this book that we noticed in the crafts section of our local bookstore the other day: “Knitting With Dog Hair.”

“Stop vacuuming and start knitting!” the cover blurb screamed, beckoning us to check it out. Inside were tips on how to collect dog hair, spin it into yarn and then knit with it.

It looked fairly comprehensive, but we didn’t notice any instructions for making an Afghan afghan or a poodle poodle skirt.