Stadium Has New Look, but Old Teams

U nconventional wisdom of the day . . .

Anaheim Stadium: There’s no Big A in the Big A any more, so what are we supposed to call the place? The Fixer-Upper In Anaheim? The Arrowhead Dump? Berlin 1945? Another Reason for the Rams to Move? Where Anaheim Stadium was once sterile and unappealing, it is now junky and unappealing, proving that Mother Nature either has no flair for interior decoration--or can’t finish the job as contracted. Anaheim needs a new stadium like the Angels need a new pitching staff, but for the time being, it appears we’re stuck with Uncle Leo’s rec room--with the big-screen TV shoved behind the left-field fence, draped with tacky vinyl banners bearing the corporate logos of Angel sponsors. No wonder the Blue Jays can’t hold a lead here. They look around, they get too depressed.

The hole in left field: Pre-earthquake, this was a standard reference to the Angel defense (please see Luis Polonia, Chili Davis). Post-earthquake, you have to look higher for the proper meaning, to the upper deck, which appears to have been chomped by a rampaging T-Rex. “Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, the Angels welcome you to Jurassic Park . . . “

Angels 14, Blue Jays 13: The last time the Angels pulled off a ninth-inning rally as big as this, they went to the playoffs, but if you’re looking for omens, don’t get carried away. The Angels’ starting pitchers that year, 1986, were named Witt, McCaskill, Sutton and Candelaria.

Duane Ward: The Blue Jays’ most valuable player in 1994, if I was just to take a wild stab.

Greg Myers: He stood in there before the Angel home opener, he waited for Wayne Gretzky to fire, and he made the grab, a slick glove save. Reportedly, the Kings had a scout in the stands and a contract has been drawn up.

Brian Anderson: The Angels desperately need him to make it, but not as desperately as the writers covering the Angels do. Good delivery, smooth follow-through, a lot of movement on his fast one--the kid has all the tools. We’re talking first team All-Interview here, no question.

“The Junior Felix Award:” Junior’s gone, but his spirit lives on in a doctored can of shaving cream bearing his name, a trophy bestowed upon individual Angel players after committing what is deemed to be the bonehead play of the day. Strangely, Anderson got it after pitching eight shutout innings as an emergency replacement for Mark Langston last Sunday. Anderson attempts to explain: “They gave it to me for saying, ‘Mark Who?’ But I never said it.” Again, this is keeping in the spirit of Junior Felix. “What about that fly ball in the fifth inning, Junior?” “I never saw it.”

Dante Bichette: On pace to hit 108 home runs and drive in 270 runs this season. Wonder how Dave Parker’s doing?

Haywood Jeffires: The Rams look over the middle, crank up $3.9 million for three years, throw reasonably deep while maintaining fiscal restraint . . . and it’s . . . it’s . . . dropped by Jeffires. Now what? At the moment, Chris Miller’s two top-ranking targets are named Flipper Anderson and Nate Lewis. At the No. 5 slot in next Sunday’s draft, the Rams are advised that wide receivers Charles Johnson of Colorado and Johnnie Morton of USC should be available.

Bruce McNall: A lawsuit a day. Alongside the NHL roundup, newspapers will soon be running the daily McNall Litigation Roundup. In the meantime, McNall’s $275,000 Rolls-Royce thank-you gift to Gretzky continues to be the buzz of the league. The latest joke: “McNall left another present for Gretzky in the glove compartment. A payment book.”

Ron Wilson: He deserves coach-of-the-year consideration, but as Mighty Ducks General Manager Jack Ferreira concedes, the field is loaded. “Ron was outstanding,” Ferreira says, “but a lot of guys did great jobs this year--(Florida’s Roger) Neilson, (New Jersey’s Jacques) Lemaire, (Buffalo’s John) Muckler. It’s a tough one to call.” To say nothing of San Jose’s Kevin Constantine, right? Right? Ferreira said nothing, to be sure, biting his tongue, face reddening until another question could be asked. Two years ago, Ferreira was fired as San Jose’s general manager, a wound that continues to cut deep. “There are enough (original) players still there that I certainly wish them well,” Ferreira says of the Sharks’ first dip into the Stanley Cup playoffs. “But players only.”

The Fighting Ducks: Incredible stat for fans of Stu Grimson and Todd Ewen to ponder: The Ducks did not receive a single instigating penalty all season. Also, the Ducks were the league’s third-lowest penalized team in 1993-94. In fact, by season’s end, the biggest goons at Duck home games could be found on the overhead scoreboard--that lovable cartoon in which two brawling Goofys crack each other over the head with hockey sticks, the same move that earned Tony Granato a 15-game suspension. Lots of laughs for the entire family.

Chris Evert: These are twisted times when a failed quarterback is moved to attack a talk-show host who likens him to one of the greatest champions and most tenacious competitors the world of sport has ever known. If Jim Rome truly wanted to get under his guest’s skin, really needle him, all he had to say was, “Welcome to the show, Jim Everett.”