Fostering Love : County to Honor 3 Families for Opening Homes--and Hearts

Carolyn Griffith knew 14 years ago when she took in her first foster child--a baby boy abandoned in a hotel by his mother--that she might have to give him up.

Still, nothing could really ready her for the flood of emotions that day seven months later when the boy left her home to be reunited with his father and grandparents. “Nothing had prepared us for the kind of pain we would be going through. When I saw the back of his head in the car (when he was taken away), it was devastating, it really was,” she said.

That pain has not stopped Griffith and her husband, William, from taking in 44 more foster children since then, and the couple will be honored today along with two other foster families for the continued commitment that they have shown toward children in need.

Along with the Griffiths, the board will recognize Willie and Leroy Barnes of Orange, who have given homes to many foster children over the past nine years, and Regina Markwardt of Santa Ana, who has taken in 20 children over the many years.

Barbara Labitzke, who coordinates the county’s foster homes program, said the Barneses, the Griffiths and Markwardt “are the ultimate volunteers.”

All five, she said, share a common strength: They are willing to take in children who have particularly critical needs--whether the child is developmentally disabled or has a baby of her own.

They are among about 600 families in Orange County that raise foster children, many of whom come from abusive households, for about $300 a month per child. “I think they’re all heroes,” Labitzke said.

The Board of Supervisors began giving the awards in 1986 after noting a critical shortage of foster parents. “We needed to find a way to show these families how much we do value them and appreciate what they are doing. They are all doing a great job, but there are some that are more outstanding than others,” Labitzke said.

Twenty foster families were nominated for the award by social service agencies, other foster parents and probation officers, and the three winners were picked from that group. They will be honored at 8:30 a.m. at the Hall of Administration in Santa Ana.

Griffith, 45, become a foster mother in 1980 after she saw a friend bringing along different toddlers to church. She later learned they were foster children.

“They always looked so cute, although I didn’t know at the time it was just dressing up the wounds of sexual abuse and some of the other ills these children go through,” she said.

Since taking in that first baby boy, she, her husband and two daughters--both in their 20s--have never been without a foster child for more than a month.

Griffith now has four foster children and one child she adopted after being his foster mother. But Labitzke said about half the county’s foster children are eventually reunited with their parents.

“I see what an important role that foster parents play in breaking a cycle of abuse,” Labitzke said of Griffith’s work, adding that Griffith was presented with the Great American Family Award in 1987 by then-First Lady Nancy Reagan at the White House.

Willie Barnes said she decided to become a foster mother because she “felt sorry for (the children). They didn’t have anywhere to go.”

Since she had already raised two boys of her own, Barnes decided to start with foster sons. Later, she began caring for girls who had been on criminal probation.

One 17-year-old girl who has lived with the Barneses for three years said: “We have a good relationship, like a real grandmother and granddaughter.”

The girl’s mother, whom she sees regularly, has seven other children and has had trouble maintaining a job. “It’s better for me to stay here,” she said.

She goes to the same high school as another of the Barnes’ foster children, a 16-year-old girl. The two tell their classmates they are cousins. But not everyone in school believes them, she says, because one is black and the other is white.

The 17-year-old has a quick retort: “Haven’t you heard of interracial marriage?”

Inside the home, however, it can be more difficult to forget about race.

The 16-year-old, who has been with the Barneses for a year, says she gets along with everyone in the family. But, she added, “I have my moments, because I’m the only white person here.”

Barnes tries not to let that get in the way.

“When I see her, I see a girl, I don’t see a white girl. (People) say why do I care, and I tell them, ‘I care because you are a human being.’ . . . I treat these like they’re mine. I don’t get on them like a herd of horses.”