Scotty, beam me to Parker Center!In a...

Scotty, beam me to Parker Center!In a new book on the late Gene Roddenberry, the creator of “Star Trek” revealed that when he was a Los Angeles police officer, “some people (thought) that my natural future was to become chief of police.”

As the LAPD’s equivalent of Capt. Kirk, he hinted, there might have been similarities with the Starship Enterprise.

”. . . I had decided that when I became chief of police, I would bring along with me new attitudes and new uniforms,” he said in “Gene Roddenberry: The Last Conversation,” by Yvonne Fern.

We could imagine the Men in Blue being transformed into the Men in Orange--with those crew-necked, stretch pullovers.

And Roddenberry, who was a sergeant when he left the LAPD in 1953, also would have equipped his cops with more sophisticated weaponry.

“Like phasers?” asked author Fern.

“Like phasers,” he responded.

We presume he was not promoting the vaporizing of suspects, a practice that the courts might frown upon.

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And he had to be in by 10 p.m.: Aaron Wilcox notes that Dick Clark --America’s oldest teen-ager--was busy, busy, busy last Saturday. At 8:30 p.m., he could be seen hosting an “American Bandstand” retrospective on NBC while simultaneously being inducted into the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences Hall of Fame on rival ABC.

“Not only doesn’t he seem to age with time,” Wilcox said, “he seems to be getting more and more virile every day. I’m 25 and I don’t think I could handle racing from studio to studio like that.”

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An end to mudslinging? Karen Streisand of San Pedro found a restaurant ad for what sounded like a refreshingly clean political event. Obviously it wasn’t attended by Gov. Pete Wilson and state Treasurer Kathleen Brown, who haven’t been very complimentary toward each other.

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Warning to tailgaters: Motorists have long been shuffling the letters in the nameplates on the backs of their cars. But, on the 605 Freeway, we noticed the first variation with a litigious connotation:

ISU U.

We kept our distance.

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Orange coneheads: Ron Rieder of Sherman Oaks notes that under emergency conditions, it took Caltrans crews less than three months to put the Santa Monica Freeway back together. But, Caltrans said recently, the re-striping of 10 miles of the San Diego Freeway to create a car-pool lane will take more than two years. “Sounds like we are back to pre-earthquake government construction schedules,” Rieder noted.

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Off-boulevard: Inasmuch as Faye Dunaway has been bounced from the musical in which she was supposed to star, maybe she could be added to the Carreras-Domingo-Pavarotti concert at Dodger Stadium. After all, it’s near Sunset Boulevard.

miscelLAny:

John Karevoll of Dataquick, a real estate information company that advertises in The Times, says the response rate is “clearly higher” on days when its ad appears alongside that of the company that touts “penile-lengthening” surgery.