WORLD CUP USA ’94 / THE FIRST ROUND : SPOTLIGHT : POINTS FOR STYLE
There is still much about soccer that confuses us, but we do understand cool.
Rating the World Cup’s final 16 teams, in order of style:
1) Saudi Arabia: Goalkeeper Muhammad Al Deayea wears long pants even in 90-degree heat, can dunk a basketball with two hands backward, and wants to play in the NBA if the royal family will ever let him out of its sight. And if that’s not enough, Coach Jorge Solari smokes tiny cigarettes during the games while wearing a ‘50s-era suit and tie. Afterward, the players kiss their local sportswriters.
2) Belgium: Players hold hands during their national anthem as a silent example of unity for their ethnically divided countrymen.
3) Ireland: Their fans love to chant: “Oh, ah, Paul Ma-graw, say oh ah Paul Ma-graw. “ If you don’t recognize that Ma-graw is the Gaelic pronunciation of McGrath then you’ll never understand that they are talking about their star defenseman.
4) United States: People who know more about this than us said that as well as bringing together the best 22 soccer players in the United States, Bora Milutinovic has also assembled the 22 best-looking guys.
5) Italy: Midfielder Dino Baggio has established himself as perhaps the tournament’s coolest player by wearing a white sweatband above one hand . Think about it.
6) Argentina: Goalkeeper Luis Islas has won the hearts of Americans everywhere by being one of the few players in the tournament with enough sense to wear a baseball cap.
7) Nigeria: From lobe to lobe, the best earrings in the tourney.
8) Switzerland: With apologies to every player who has attempted to outdo each other in number and color of dreadlocks, the best hair in the tournament is the long, flowing blond locks of midfielder Alain Sutter.
