Theater Review : ‘Robert’s Memorial’ Paints a Touching, Hilarious Portrait : Michael Kearns’ play weaves in personal experience to bring the mind-numbing statistics of AIDS deaths to life.

Although we never actually meet Robert, the fictional deceased florist so eloquently eulogized in “Robert’s Memorial,” by the end of this touching and often hilarious staged ceremony he’s taken on the familiarity of an old acquaintance.

Credit playwright Michael Kearns’ keen eye for the kind of incidental details that reveal deep-rooted patterns in creating Robert’s history. The portrait that emerges is drawn with the compelling authenticity of real life, with all its messy incongruities and loose threads.

An openly gay, HIV-positive actor and activist, Kearns’ intent is to bring some flesh and blood to the mind-numbing statistics of AIDS casualties, and he’s incorporated plenty of personal experience into the reminiscences and anecdotes related by Robert’s closest friends during the service.

The approach may suggest the interactive style of shows like “Tony & Tina’s Wedding” and “Grandma Sylvia’s Funeral,” but the comparison is somewhat misleading. In this tightly structured series of monologues, the role of the audience is to observe rather than participate.

The closest we come to direct involvement is when the performers punctuate their tributes with direct address commentary--usually when something goes wrong, like the opening announcement from master of ceremonies Mel (Jae Ross) that we’re still waiting for one of the participants.

It’s the first of several technical snafus--including a pretentious slide show that hilariously self-destructs--all aimed at lightening the show’s somber premise. Despite its conceit that everything’s going wrong, however, the play remains precisely on target.

Ross deftly shoulders the lion’s share of comic relief with his flamboyantly catty introductions. A prima donna actress (Debbi Dachinger) admits that helping Robert during his illness gave her the opportunity to be unselfish for the first time--then she starts passing out autographed head shots. Robert’s nurse (Wendell Gover) recalls Robert’s fascination with Hayley Mills movies, which he believed campily paralleled his own evolution as a gay male--from sweet innocence (“Pollyanna”) to falling in love with a mirror image (“The Parent Trap”) to rebellion (“The Trouble With Angels”).

In more serious confessionals (which occasionally suffer from contrived scripting), Robert’s first lover (Daamen J. Krall) claims no regrets despite his certainty that he contracted AIDS from Robert (“I’m glad to have tasted true passion,” he declares, although some ambivalence would be more believable), while Robert’s father (Dana White) admits Robert helped him face up to his own weaknesses as a parent.

Although his life was unexceptional in many ways, Robert’s honesty and quiet heroism are implicitly contrasted with prior generations of homosexuals who lived their lives in furtive concealment--his best qualities are held up as a role model for an audience presumed to belong mostly to Robert’s extended family--”the wayward Waltons,” as Ross puts it.

But heterosexual viewers have an entree as well, courtesy of Dale Raoul’s memorable performance as a matronly tourist who befriended Robert during a cruise down the Nile--her simple narrative proves the most poignant of all.

Powerful as director Ron Edwards’ capable staging may be, it pales beside the impact of so many similar ceremonies conducted outside the make-believe confines of the theater. Unfortunately, if you haven’t yet had the opportunity to appreciate the comparison, sooner or later you will.

* “Robert’s Memorial,” Highways, 1651 18th St., Santa Monica. Sundays, 5 p.m. Dark July 31, Aug. 7. Ends Aug. 28. $10. (213) 660-8587. Running time: 1 hour, 25 minutes.