THEATER REVIEW : Housewife’s Laments Make for a Lamentable ‘Heartbeats’

Whoever advised songwriter Amanda McBroom to build her 1986 revue “Heartbeats” into a full book musical must have introduced Faye Dunaway to Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Most famous for writing the pop standard “The Rose,” a good song tacked shamelessly onto the end of the show, McBroom stars as Annie in this saga of a housewife on the eve of her 20th wedding anniversary and about to turn the big Four-O (“the O stands for Oh My God”). The show, with book also by McBroom, is at the Pasadena Playhouse.

Familiar cannot describe the concerns of Annie’s household; each detail seems to have been weighed for highest possible banality content.

Annie worries about her roots (hair, that is), her sit-ups and the car insurance. She realizes that her life’s not so bad when she opens the paper and sees that people are killing people. Her husband, Steve, (played by McBroom’s actual husband, George Ball) watches too much football. Rock musicians and the IRS make him mad. His favorite catalogue? Could it be, I don’t know, Victoria’s Secret? It could and it is.

The actors playing their two college-age children seem to be doing some kind of imitation of wild youth today, as conceived by Pat Boone. The daughter performs bogus rap steps while describing Rocky, who is both “cool” and “a really awesome boyfriend.”

One wonders what all-American problems might befall this household. Will their son’s bad grade endanger his pole-vaulting scholarship? Will their daughter and Rocky get tattoos? But, most important, will Annie and Steve learn to talk to each other again and save their marriage, particularly after Annie’s dangerous visit to a nightclub that features male waiters with bare chests?

“Heartbeats” is particularly misguided because McBroom is entirely capable of writing songs that illuminate and distill the poignancy in ordinary situations. One ballad, “Ship in a Bottle,” sung by the teen-age Annie (Michele Maika), is a haunting folk song for a sheltered young woman who hungers for the world. It could, however, be any young woman, and is in reality not a theater song because it has nothing to do with character.

If the ballads are touching but wrong, the up-tempo songs are embarrassing (some of the music has been provided by other composers). “I Like to Look,” with music by Gerald Sternbach, is an ogling number for Annie and her two friends as they drop napkins to better check out their waiters’ butts. “The Shopper’s Fugue,” also by Sternbach, is completely perplexing--three grocery clerks tap dance in sequined aprons and sing about what’s on sale. The number looks like an outtake from the new show at the Ralphs theme park.

As a performer, McBroom deserves better writing than she can provide herself. She’s classy but chilly, rather like the latter-day Mary Tyler Moore, whom she resembles, but without the material. She and Ball approximate marital stupor with authenticity.

The other four actors perform a variety of roles. Only Michele Maika stands out, an unusually graceful presence. She needs to lose some of the excessive vibrato (suggesting she played Eponine in “Les Miserables” for just a shade too long) and the effect of her beauty would be greater if her awareness of it were less. But she seems destined for far bigger game.

Director and choreographer Bill Castellino seems to be staging the big summer show at Bob Jones University. The actors stride across the stage and telegraph the importance of the lyrics with meaningful glances, clenching their fists and raising their arms, sometimes in unison, sometimes each in their own separate Angst .

Linda Hacker has designed a set that could have been effective, if anything else was. The wooden frames of Annie’s house are visible, and the walls are made of black-and-white photos, some torn out in the shape of puzzle pieces.

At their best, McBroom’s songs take small things, turn them over and reveal how rich they in fact are. “Heartbeats,” conversely, takes small things and makes them so infinitesimal as to be invisible.

* “Heartbeats,” the Pasadena Playhouse, 39 S . El Molino Avenue, Pasadena, Tuesday-Friday, 8 p.m., Saturday at 5 p.m. and 9 p.m., Sunday at 2 p.m. and 7 p.m. Ends August 21. $33.50. (818) 356-7529 or (213) 480-3232. Running time: 2 hours, 15 minutes.

Amanda McBroom Annie

George Ball Steve

Michele Maika Young Annie and others

Kevin Bailey Jeff, Waiter, and others

William Falk Young Steve and others

Sharon McNight Best Friend and others

Presented by the Pasadena Playhouse, State Theatre of California Inc., in association with Theatre Corp. of America. Book, music and lyrics by Amanda McBroom. Additional music by Gerald Sternbach, Michele Brourman, Tom Snow and Craig Safan. Directed and choreographed by Bill Castellino. Sets by Linda Hacker. Lighting by Richard Winkler. Costumes by Charlotte M. Yetman. Sound by Frederick Boot. Production stage manager Kirk Brustman.