Someone in obvious need of toilet training:...

Someone in obvious need of toilet training: We spent most of our first day back from vacation trying to avoid paper cuts as we waded through faxes. The most interesting press release, sent by the L.A. city attorney’s office, involved an American Airlines passenger who was arrested at LAX after allegedly pounding on the door of an occupied restroom with his feet and fists.

When the person in the restroom did leave, the impatient passenger threatened to attack him, Deputy City Atty. Larry Webster said.

The suspect was charged with disturbing the peace and making a terrorist threat.

And the target of the alleged abuse? Oh, yes--that was the flight captain.

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Beverly Hills Vigilante? Greg Horbachevsky of Glendale spotted an elderly man--apparently a resident--who was holding a shopping bag in one hand while using the other to put chalk marks on the tires of cars parked on Rexford Drive in the manner of a parking cop.

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Film not at 10:30: Channel 13, you may have heard, is blaring this slogan for its nightly newscast--”Southern California’s only 30-minute news at 10.”

It’s an interesting ploy, implying that Channels 5, 9 and 11 are more or less wasting your time by offering hourlong newscasts at that hour.

But then L.A. stations have a long history of oddball news slogans, including these:

* “There’s more to life than news, weather and sports.” (Channel 7)

* “Sometimes being the only one with all the serious news makes us feel lousy.” (Channel 7)

* “Who’s Maury Povich?” (Channel 2)

* “If you report the news, you have to go where the news is.” (Channel 4)

* “The next generation of local news.” (Channel 2, kicking off a new format that was dumped six weeks later.)

* “It’s not like watching news--it’s like watching family.” (Channel 7)

* “Killer tomatoes, no; killer storms, yes.” (Channel 2)

* “An hour earlier, a half-hour longer and a whole lot better.” (Channel 5)

The “half-hour-longer” line, by the way, was devised by Jeff Wald, who was then Channel 5’s news director. He’s now at Channel 13, where he came up with the “30-minute news” line.

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Pork or beef loins? Herman Ackley of North Hollywood found an ad in a flyer that would be music to the ears of butchers everywhere.

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Making an impression: Speaking of our vacation, we actually spent most of it teaching at a journalism workshop for high school students at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo. It was hard work but the ego boosts we receive from the fledgling journalists make it all worthwhile. For instance, there was the student who wrote:

“You meet a big shot, a Times reporter like Steve Harvey, and then you see he dresses like a bum!”

Hey, there’s more to life than shirts, slacks and shoes.

miscelLAny:

You have to admire the political courage of Rep. George E. Brown Jr. (D-Colton) in this election year. He has an adaptation of one of his speeches printed in the summer, 1994, issue of Garbage magazine.