THOUSAND OAKS : Moms of Twins Say 2s Are Not So Terrible

Barbara Wexler’s day goes more or less like other mothers’ days.

The morning bustle includes dressing and driving her two rambunctious toddlers to preschool. Afternoons are consumed by work on her home computer.

And evenings fly by in a tizzy of dinners, baths and bedtime stories.

It’s a busy schedule, but not nearly as hectic as the Thousand Oaks writer’s life was 2 1/2 years ago.

That’s when she gave birth to twins Sam and Dillon. The strain of endless feedings, constant diaper changes and sleepless nights took its toll, Wexler said.

“I don’t remember anything from the first four months of their lives,” she said. “Mothers of single babies, no offense, have no idea what it’s like to handle two infants at once.”

Which is why the Conejo Valley Mothers of Multiples club was formed. At their monthly meetings, club members appreciate the chance to share the trial and tribulations of raising babies, said club historian Raylene Epling.

The group is celebrating its 30th anniversary this year, Epling said, and members hope to find previous participants to invite to a reunion luncheon, planned for later this year.

Although the club is open to any mother who has delivered more than one child at birth, nearly all of its 70 members are mothers of twins, Epling said. There are just three families with triplets, she said, and no members with quadruplets or quintuplets.

“It’s amazing how many multiples there are in the Conejo Valley,” said Epling, who has 7-year-old identical twin daughters. “It must be something in the water system.”

The mothers meet once a month at the Sunset Hills Country Club in Thousand Oaks to discuss issues pertinent to parents of twins. Topics range from whether the babies should sleep in the same crib to the pros and cons of dressing twins alike.

Wexler said her obstetrician recommended that she join the group.

“When you have moms who have gone through what you’re going through, it’s great,” Wexler said. “You don’t feel so alone.”

Club members also arrange weekly play dates and field trips for their children, plan potluck picnics and organize fund-raisers.

About 30% of the mothers in the group carried multiple fetuses after taking fertility drugs, Wexler said. But the rest conceived two or three babies with no medical intervention.

“Twins run in the family,” Wexler said. “And it’s documented that once you hit 35, you have a higher chance of giving birth to multiples.”

Now that her life is back on track, Wexler can better appreciate the experience of rearing twins.

“Once you get your sleep caught up, it’s really a joy,” she said. “They always have someone to play with, and they learn how to get along with another child right from the beginning. And they have this incredible bond that other siblings don’t have.”