They didn’t have to get their tails...

They didn’t have to get their tails into action: Beverly Hills police were in formal dress for a fund-raising dinner Wednesday night at the same time the department was on alert status because of the passage of Proposition 187.

Luckily, the streets were devoid of violence. Otherwise, resident Pat Herbert pointed out, there might have been reports of “police responding in black ties.”

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Guess he should have spent $28 million and 29 cents: Theresa Chavez of Silver Lake received a mailer from Senate hopeful Mike Huffington the day after the election.

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What--it’ll speed you through the rush hour at 70 m.p.h.?Jerry Cowle of Pacific Palisades found a local ad for a fuel that apparently has a miracle ingredient.

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A passenger who disdains small talk: If we’re not mistaken, a new product called Safe-T-Man made its pictorial debut in Only in L.A.

You may remember the big galoot--all 6 feet and 10 pounds of him. He doesn’t weigh much because he’s made of a soft cloth fabric. But decked out in a suit and dark glasses, Safe-T-Man is a reasonable facsimile of a car passenger for those who don’t like to be seen driving alone. (We’re sure Angelenos would never use him to qualify for diamond-lane status).

Anyway, Safe-T-Man--who is manufactured in El Monte--is now being advertised in a holiday catalogue called the Safety Zone at $99.95 for these models: “Light Skin/Blonde Hair,” “Light Skin/Gray Hair” and “Dark Skin/Dark Hair.”

Oh, yes. If you want legs, it’s another $19.95.

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Some duties Safe-T-Man can’t perform: Here are a few other unusual products in the Safety Zone catalogue that might appeal to Southern Californians:

* Doze Alarm: “Don’t fall asleep at the wheel. . . . (It) fits comfortably over your ear and emits an audible alarm if your head drops forward as you drive. . . . $16.95.”

* Fake Closed-Circuit TV Camera: “Fools even the pros. . . . It replicates an expensive closed-circuit surveillance camera in every detail, from the LED light camera to the simulated coaxial cable and plate. . . . $99.95.”

* Yard Gard: “Keep animals away from your yard. (It) emits and amplifies ultrasonic sounds that annoy and repel--but do not harm--dogs, cats, deer, raccoons, possums and other small animals, making them avoid your yard. Will not affect birds. . . . $99.95.” We’d only buy it if it affected wild parrots.

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Hi. We have these neighbors who play loud music day and night. . . . Patricia Posada of Rancho Cucamonga was on the San Bernardino Freeway when she saw a truck belonging to a company called Family Exterminators.

miscelLAny It’s the new Marxist-Lennonist line--the International Collectors Society sent out a brochure previewing a stamp put out by those wild and crazy folks in Abkhazia, a breakaway province from the former Soviet republic of Georgia. Look for a Beatles’ “Back In the U.S.S.R.” stamp next.