“The 12 Ears of Christmas”Local outlets of...

“The 12 Ears of Christmas”Local outlets of The Museum Company are offering a variation on the pin-the-tail-on-the donkey game--a self-portrait of a famous painter, minus his ear. Yes, you pin an ear on Vincent Van Gogh. Cost is $14.95--”complete with 12 reusable ears.”

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Have a Nixon Christmas!We hope you haven’t already sat on Santa’s knee, because the Nixon Christmas Gift Catalogue is being unveiled on Friday.

Among the goodies available at the Nixon Library and Birthplace in Yorba Linda will be the book “The Day Elvis Met Nixon,” by former aide Egil (Bud) Krogh, which recounts the historic Dec. 21, 1970, summit between the President and the King.

Krogh reveals that the singer showed up at the White House with what he described as a “personal gift” for Nixon. He was asked to surrender the gift at the door. It was a gun, a chrome-plated Colt .45. The Presley piece is now on display--but not for sale--at the Nixon library.

A never-say-die attitude: Incidentally, more than seven months after Nixon’s death, the library gift shop still has plenty of those T-shirts that proclaim, “Nixon in ‘96--Tan, Rested & Ready.”

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A gift suggestion for Queen Elizabeth: “We were pleased when the American Diabetes Assn. awarded certification to Cigna Health Care’s educational program, ‘Successful Living With Diabetes,’ ” writes Cigna’s Dr. David Lewis Geffner of L.A. But, he adds, “we did not know that we would also be required to educate Prince Charles until we received this recent mailing.”

It was addressed to:

“Successful Living with Di.”

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List of the day: Some more sharp observations about L.A. from “ANGLAFILE--A Guide to the Best of British in Los Angeles,” by Arnold and Isolde Schwartzman.

* “This den of thieves is situated . . . in one of the loveliest and most fertile districts of California.” (Sir George Simpson, on a visit in 1842.)

* “I stopped there on my way to India, and because of inertia and apathy remained.” (Author Aldous Huxley)

* “Darling, there seems to be an American on your lawn.” (Actor Robert Coote to his hostess, Gladys Cooper, at a gathering of Brits in Hollywood.)

* “The railway have offered me a special train and private car to go down the coast to Los Angeles, a sort of Naples here.” (Author Oscar Wilde)

Wilde actually uttered his most memorable line upon his arrival in this country. He told a U.S. Customs officer: “I have nothing to declare except my genius.”

Yeah, but how well would he have played pin-the-ear-on-Van Gogh?

miscelLAny David Shepard figures the gendarmes would have to arm themselves with radar guns if they ever tried to monitor the vehicular traffic on one stretch of 192nd Street in Carson (see photo). We wonder how often the skid marks in the area have to be cleaned up.